calorie cost

CALORIE COST
All calories are created equally, but some calories are more equal than others. Good Christ, I amuse myself. Here we are, entering into the Greatest Depression Known To Man Throughout All Of History Because We Are Incorporating The Derivatives Implosion With Peak Oil In Which We Are All Going To Die ( GDKTMTAOHBWAITDIWPOIWWAAGTD, pronounced just like it's spelled ) where millions more comedians are out of work and I'm trying to be funny. If you think the Detroit unemployment of 23% is bad, take a look at the comedians. But I make no apologies for putting any downwards pressure on their wages or even for being directly responsible for their being out of a job since they can't hope to compete. If it's good enough for the housing industry with illegal workers displacing Union positions, its good enough for me. Plus, just as the mortgages written by banks on those houses fattened up a few CEO's wallets, my actions help the executives at Fox and HBO. I won't get any thanks from them, not even sloppy seconds on one of their aspiring actresses, but I just can't help who I am.
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Now, acknowledging that not all calories are the same, you need to keep that in mind as you read this article. Obviously, white processed flour is not as healthy for you as whole wheat flour. And whole wheat kernels freshly ground are healthier for you than store bought whole wheat flour that's been sitting around for awhile. And, obviously, white rice is not as good for you as brown, but since brown rice has almost no shelf life, you use white. What I'm saying here is, don't bring up the obvious. Today we are simply comparing calorie costs, not which calories are better for you. I trust you'll keep that in mind yourself and make your own rational informed decisions. Now, see what you made me do- all that long winded drivel for a disclaimer. Warning! This coffee might be hot! Warning! Do not use this dollar store pool blow up toy as a life saving flotation device! Warning! Your three hundred pound lard ass standing on the top rung of this ladder will cause the laws of gravity to take effect and your large girth to come crashing down to earth!
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What storage food delivers the most calories? How much do those calories cost? As if there was any confusion about the most perfect survival food, whole wheat kernels once again are the best of the bunch. Buying in bulk at the feed store for $15 per fifty pounds, one dollar delivers 5,000 calories. Not too far behind that is white flour at $2 a five pound sack at Wally-World, giving you 3700 calories per dollar. Top Ramen is 2530 calories per dollar if you get the fifteen cent pack. Pasta is 2285 per buck. Rice is 1760 calories per dollar which kind of goes to show you that is is way overrated as a survival food. Since both white flour and white rice have most of their nutrients removed by milling, you should go with white flour since it delivers over twice the calorie count for the same price. The poor pinto bean only delivers 1410 calories per dollar. And, yes, it is a superior protein food. But for a simple calorie comparison it fairs poorly. Instant mashed potatoes only give you 1360 calories per buck. Now, keep in mind that all but the wheat kernels are bought in small quantities, around a buck. You would get more calories per buck by buying in bulk. The ratios would more than likely stay the same.
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I hope this helps a bit when it comes time to pick what you wish to store. If it doesn't help, if you feel I've wasted your time, I'll try to make it up to you. Tune in tomorrow for the next movie review.
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