melting witches

MELTING WITCHES
No, not the ex wife. Witches dance around trees and put ground up frog skin in potions and generally are if not harmless at least mostly not a huge threat. The ex is the Handmaiden Of Lucifer, or HOL, which you will note is only slightly off the evil computer’s ( from A Space Odyssey ) initials. A chill wind was felt across the land when she was hatched, but because this isn’t Hollywood, no one knew about it until it was too late. Even now, you are denying her powers, thinking perhaps that the real threat is from Obammy or Clinton ( forth in line of Presidential succession ) . I laugh at your naivety, puny earthling! But back to witches. Since they are capable of great evil, but not necessarily evil by nature, banks are just like witches. Usually evil, but still capable of some good. Sometimes. Just as there are a very few good politicians out there ( if you put a gun to my head I could name just one-Ron Paul- but perhaps there are a few others ), almost every bank out there is up to no good. Like raping us repeatedly, throwing in fresh handfuls of sand as they cackle gleefully and sit on our head erupting with near wet flatulence and letting their buddy have his way with us ( Here you go, sloppy seconds-WOW!-that one must of left a skid mark, hey settle down there, bitch, have some more “lubricant”, Weeee!, this is fun ).
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Last weekend ( oh sweet weekend, please get here soon ) I went to the library and checked out “The Ultimate Depression Survival Guide” by Martin D Weiss. Talk about a skid mark! Let me sum up the whole book for you. Get out of the stock market and put the money into other paper assets like foreign currencies or Treasuries. We will not see any inflation, the US economy will recover just like last time, nothing to see here, move along. I don’t know what state this guy lives in, but I want to find out where I can go and smoke crack legally. Let’s take a slight detour, once again, over to www.americanenergycrisis.blogspot.com and spot today’s article on Saudi Arabian import declines. I would have written a whole article on how we are once again totally screwed and destined for the stew pot, but I took pity on my minions. Short version, last months imports were half of the last twenty year average ( and the numbers were down most of this year so I doubt it is a one time event ). It isn’t something to panic over, it just reinforces the trend of the last few years. Energy decreases. Peak Oil collapse. This ain’t you grandpappies depression, dumbass. Yet, hating the book isn’t even the main focus of this article. I did like the section on the banks and derivatives.
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The official, “we’ll cop to a little to avoid fessing up to the actual figure” derivatives exposure of the top five banks is $182 trillion. “Only” about three times the global GDP. Wachovia and HSBC are pikers, the big three are Citi, BofA and JPMorgan. Citi is conservative and only has $37 trillion. BofA has $39 trillion. Morgan has a whopping $91 trillion. As if that isn’t enough, the assets to derivatives is one for two at BofA ( one buck assets for each two bucks exposure ). Citi decided to take a gamble and went a bit over $2.50 for one. JPMorgan said, screw it, our bitches at the Fed can turn on the printing presses and they went with $4.30 per dollar. But don’t worry, nothing bad will happen. Of course, Lehman Brothers only had seven trillion in derivatives and their failure almost brought down the global economy. And for God’s sake, let’s not forget that a lot of the banks “assets” are debt that will never get repaid. But since Obammy, Nobel winner for best impersonation of an American citizen, is in office, well then nothing bad will ever happen again. I was sweating it for a minute there. Perhaps he can even defeat HOL.
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