simple off grid

SIMPLE OFF GRID
Having nothing whatsoever to do with today’s drivel:
Paranoia strikes deep
Into your life it will creep
Sing it with us now.
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Happy Tea Part Anniversary. Not the modern version where Republicans got a bunch of fools to send in Lipton bags so as to protest that they were no longer in charge of pork distribution, but the historic Tea Party where the minions of the wealthy told Great Britain that high taxes and government control were A-Okay with them, but only if they were the beneficiaries.
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A comment yesterday ( everyone can afford a generator, not everyone solar panels ) got me thinking that perhaps now would be a good time to talk about emergency off grid living again. A lot of my readers are comfortably cruising along, oblivious to the need to stock up on junk land, trailers, solar panels and water jugs. They are in a “recession proof” job, they can’t afford child support and their spouse needs pampering and luxury items such as running water and flushing toilets, and they will be damned if they will live in a tin box without a garage full of Craftsmen tools or have a yard that can’t be mowed. Now, despite my rage at anyone that doesn’t immediately see the wisdom of my ways and bow before my greatness and send in a soon to be tax deductible tithes, I can see where most people are coming from. Most females are firmly rooted in the old wealth paradigm of money, money being security being a stable place to raise a family. Of course, most fems, my beautiful minions excepted ( who probable are leaning towards the “lack of debt is security ), don’t realize they are after money/security. They bought into the whole romance/love thing and so are always conflicted. Guys on the other hand grow up with a single straight forward goal of simply killing things. Once they reach puberty, they add screwing anything to that. Then, for the rest of their useful life they just want to screw it or kill it. No conflict unless those goals are thwarted. The Mom wants security, and Dad wants to keep screwing Mom and occasionally killing Bambi. Mom has no idea the thread holding together their security is ready to break. A decent paying job, foreign energy availability. And Dad has no idea his bride will bail as soon as those things go away.
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However, in theory since you are reading this, you realize you need a back up plan to suburbia and a thirty year mortgage. You won’t start saving to buy junk land, you won’t buy a used trailer. You want a normal life. Hey, I want a concrete bunker complex north of Elko stocked with HK-91’s and a foot locker stocked with Kuggerrands and several wives with biguns ( I don’t like “strange” as much as I need them to keep each other company and leave me alone ), but I’ve noticed that only one minion has pledged to send $500 for the Bison Bunker Program. Thanks for the support, jerks! In other words, just because you want it doesn’t mean you can have it. As soon as you are laid off, or you go from two incomes to one, you need to spring into action. Obviously, this was something that already had been decided. Or, wait until the wife goes out to a job interview and string along some of that yellow tape along the front door ( “police line-do not cross” ) and have the van all loaded up. She comes home, but the bank has foreclosed on the house. Let’s go, honey! Should we leave the kids at school or bring them with us?
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However you talk the spouse into it, starting over frugally is best if planned out but is possible with a bare minimum. Your car, a tent, and a junk land lot you start making payments on. After you are pink slipped, stop at the library and PayPal the down payment on the land closest to you where you won’t get kicked out of from the zoning police. Swing by Wal-Mart for a tent, some sleeping bags and LED lights, a few camping doo-dads. Pack up the cold weather gear from home and head on out. Let the bank worry about the house, although perhaps being legal and going through the bankruptcy court for the credit cards is a good idea. Now life gets real simple. Land, food and propane. And a way into town. It beats trying to hold on to the old lifestyle until you have no where to live out of your car. My way, moving out of town as an investment and getting the proper gear to do it comfortably, is much better. But you can head out to the boonies with just a few hundred if need be. Your car gets you there and is shelter and a way to get to town. Your junk land payment gives you a legal place to park. Everything else is just glorified camping.
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