let them eat organic

LET THEM EAT ORGANIC


As you might have noticed, we have a bit of an unemployment problem here in America. Well, it is basically global in scope, but we don’t care about no stinking fuzzy foreigners. And there are few places outside of construction that has such a high level of unemployment as comedians. So you would think that our sovereign ruler His Royal Illegal Immigrant Obammy would be a little more sensitive about those members and their employment status. But, nooooo! Here he is making jokes, taking away jobs from yet more funny men. He wants to take twenty billion from TARP and give it to small banks to loan to small businesses so that employment as a whole will prosper. Oh, I’m not laughing at the absurdity of TARP and its phantom riches, being nothing more than credit on a computer that we keep loaning out. I’m laughing at the idiocy of going in debt when you don’t have any more customers. Forget the absurdity of a “jobless” “recovery”. Our jobless rate is growing and there never was a recovery outside of a few stimulus projects. For instance, if it wasn’t for government backed mortgages there would be zero activity in housing. But forget that. If people are unemployed and the consumer economy is shrinking, why does it make any sense to get in debt opening or continuing to keep open a small business? Unless it is freeze dried food or gun sales, your market is shrinking. This is nothing more than more welfare for banks and I hope no one is foolish enough to take those loans ( unless it is for the above mentioned businesses- and I want free samples if one of you take the bait ).

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It is doubtful that Maria ever actual told her advisor that the peasants should eat cake if they couldn’t buy bread. But it is a great sound bite. Hopefully after 90% of us have died off and things return to normal after a few centuries of medieval warfare there will survive an equally amusing quip attributed to me. I like “last one in the stew pot wins”, but perhaps one of you has a better nomination. Come on, this is much more amusing than the Oscar contest. The winner will receive an old beat up copy of Lucifer’s Hammer. I tried bribing a co-worker with it so she would join the Dark Side but she wouldn’t do it. Anyway, I enjoy all of these plans from all of these writers using forests worth of paper to convince us if only XYZ was implemented than everything would be hunky dorey. For instance, by not wasting resources and by going organic. Hey, the paper is recycled so it must be okay. Forget the fact that petroleum was burned to print and bind the book. If it is for a good cause, like taking a jet to Copenhagen, then it’s all good, dawg. Also forget the fact that those in power will switch to organic about the time that evil space monkeys fly out of my anal orifice. Hey, having evil space monkeys would be pretty cool. Some troll spouts off and I could unleash them. Fly, my pretties, fly! Avenge me! ( sorry, I kind of mixed up Lord Of The Rings and Red Dawn there ). The bad part would be having them fly out of my ass, because to be an effective revenge force they would have to be more than a few inches in diameter. You can imagine the problem.

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People in power got that way following a certain plan. Generally it does not include evil space monkeys, but sometimes it does include Hillary Clinton which is much scarier. And by no means did the plan have any room for altruism outside of a façade pretending for PR’s sake to give two craps about anyone else. Wealth was created by consuming resources, and consumption is not the same as conservation. If it goes against their interests, if it cuts into the bottom line, there will be no concrete move into any of the lofty goals given to save us. No decentralized organic farms when centralized mechanized patent holding Frankenfood seed planting mega-farms are making money. No renewable energy when coal powered plants have a monopoly on power generation. No zoning for earth bermed homes when stick built homes consume said power and add thirty years of interest payments to the bankers bottom line. And etcetera. Obviously, individuals can fly under the radar and have some independence from unsustainable practices. But as a whole, nothing will be allowed to change. Do you think organics would even be at regular supermarkets if they didn’t command a huge premium? They are a boutique item. A luxury for soccer mom’s driving their brood around in a fuel sucking SUV.

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Birkenstock wearing, Volvo driving, hemp fabric wearing, dreadlock sporting tree huggers will never be the savior of the planet. At least not this side of the collapse. I’m not saying it wouldn’t be nice, but it certainly isn’t realistic. The Titanic is going down burning coal, not powered by oarsmen fed with naturally grown soybean curd.

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