die yuppie scum

DIE YUPPIE SCUM


Before we start today, I’d like to give two thumbs up for the hilarious comment on the extraterrestrials air lifting the inhabitants of Easter Island after seeding the ground with ugly statues. ET theories are something to enjoy over beer or a doobie, although certainly no reason to take it too serious. Kind of like Kennedy assassination conspiracies. We’ll never know the real circumstances but it is still fun to play along with it. But as with most things in life, it will behoove you to enjoy it and not assign much stress to it. Kind of like most of my writing. I’m dead serious about the total collapse and die off coming soon to a theatre near you, but most of my other inane screechings need to be enjoyed rather than worried about. Like today’s article. Relax, enjoy, and don’t take life too seriously. You only get one. You might be counting on an afterlife, but I have it on the personal authority of Baby Jesus himself that it is all just propaganda.

*

As further proof of what a super duper swell guy I am, as if you could possibly need any other examples after years of being bombarded by myself with one tale after another of near divine works of goodness, I am going to put aside my eternal burning hatred of Yuppie Scum and do them a solid by trying to save their miserable pathetic lives. I mean, let’s face it people, if you are coddled from cradle to grave, never allowing the slightest discomfort to intrude upon your fairy tale existence, in a collapse situation more often that not you will end up in the stew pot. And if it wasn’t bad enough that you are condemning yourself to die as soon as the corner Starbucks closes, you are raising your fat pudgy video game playing spawn to emulate you. You are all to blame, both genders. The women think they are Baby Jesus’ own special friggin princess, so of course any right thinking male following the ancient direction of the Little Brain is going to go with that assumption even if it is patently false because let’s face it we don’t do a whole lot of thinking with the Big Brain, and the guys are not only guilty of Pandering to the Prius Driving Pudgy Pimply Princess, they are also ultimately responsible for not only opening the floodgates by giving women the vote they also actually encourage them to be financially independent. Hold it, I think I got off on a tangent. Sorry, back to hating Yuppie Scum, but because I am such a nice guy I’ll offer some advice on saving yourselves before it is too late.

*

I was at work Friday morning picking up food donations ( and, BTW, thanks for paying those high prices for Starbucks pastries- the day olds get donated to the local food bank ) and parked in the lot was one of those Hummer monstrosities with that gay little one foot pickup bed in back. This means that it is mostly useless for both hauling anything or carrying passengers. Its only purpose is to advertise for potential mates. I mean, as far as advertising you are available nothing else quite says “I’m a rich bastard with a loose wallet”. Or, it says “I’m married to a rich guy, you sorry twats”. And so I got to thinking, because that’s what I do most of the time, thinking about how this or that ties in with the coming collapse, this is the perfect advertisement to get lynched. I few of us are rich and display their wealth for both mating and pack dominance. The rest of us think they deserve to be rich and so display secondary wealth. Like those Hummers. I don’t think most really rich guys would have one of those. Arnold might be the exception, but then being macho got him rich. He didn’t inherit money from an East Coast blue blood. So displaying wealth is natural. Boff the babes and beat your rivals. Unfortunately, those DNA reproducing habits are not helpful when social order collapses. Displays of wealth are then targets for criminals and lynch mobs.

*

If you are a Yuppie, more than likely you don’t have any real wealth. You just have a lot of debt and stress. But the mobs will not think like that come the collapse. They will look at your fake-wealth display and both out of envy and the need to survive they will attack you. When they find out you don’t have much, they will be so enraged they will do very bad things to you. They can’t admit they attacked someone poor like themselves, albeit someone that maxed out the credit cards to look successful, so their natural response will be to hate you even more. Rape, torture, etc., not just killing you to steal what’s yours. So, here is what you want to do. Use the current mass lay-offs to shed all your symbols of wealth. Make up a story to suit your situation. Cut in pay, cut in hours, needed to take another lower wage job. Credit card rates jacked up. Something. Then sell all that crap. You’ll make a few bucks. Put that into preps. Move into poorer looking digs, drive an older vehicle. If it is smart, actually have one of you quit working so you can declare bankruptcy. You get the idea. You need to do a good job of convincing everyone you are now truly poor. Otherwise, the nicest friends and neighbors now will turn on you when the collapse comes. It won’t matter if you have nothing and they do, if they convince themselves you are better off they will attack you. Do not advertise wealth, real or fake. You have been warned. Oh, wait, you’ve been warned of a lot of things and you still ignore me. Oh, well. I tried. Peace.

END
The Official Bison Web Site http://www.bisonpress.com/

*
Please support Bison by buying through the Amazon links in each article. You can purchase anything, not just the linked item. Enter Amazon through my item link and then go to whatever other item you desire. As long as you don’t leave Amazon until after the order is placed, I get credit for your purchase. Thank you.