Okay, I don’t want any rabid fans of Rawles ( Patriots: A Novel of Survival in the Coming Collapse ) to get all butt hurt and bent out of shape. So here’s a bone thrown. Thursday had the amusing link at his page on how Wal-Mart had raised prices 6% in one month. Now, coming from the deep dark Arkansas interior, there have been quite the cast of characters lately. Sam was of course celebrated for his common sense and small town manners. Bill was an example of a good ol boy that never got over the thrill and excitement of his first taste of nookie. But the guy that is in charge of Wal-Mart now must have been the result of three generations of first cousin marriages ( On the marriage of first cousins ). Of all the stupid, bonehead, banjo playing retard things to do, trying to save the company from bankruptcy court. First, you get rid of a good portion of your generics and go the Target route of middle class foo-foo glitzy Martha Stuart looking crap. Not a bad strategy in that a lot of these yahoos bought houses of one inch insulating board covered with stucco. It might have cost an extra ten years wages, but it looked so pretty. However, Yuppie middle class is an endangered species. Their numbers are dwindling. And the poor are multiplying. So why throw in your lot with a shrinking customer base? Free consulting advice, you jerks. You want to stay with your original customers, whose numbers are growing to compensate for their shrinking disposable incomes. Then, the idiots raise prices six percent in one month. Here’s another news flash- more and more of your customers have a lot of free time on their hands as they go from two income households to one. They are going to sit around and discuss this. And they won’t decide to blame inflation. To some degree, sure. But the overriding verdict will be corporate greed and price gouging. We all know a lot of it is your overbuilding and over-indebtedness, but not won’t be viewed as a legitimate excuse.
I know a lot of think that I sit around plotting the downfall of the Yuppie Scum Survivalist. Not that they are in any danger, seeing as how 99% of newbies are attracted to the shiny sparkling glitter of AR-15’s and freeze dried foods ( Mountain House #10 Can Beef Stroganoff with Noodles (10 -1 cup servings) ). “OOOO! AAAAH! Look, Mabel, we can continue to live in decadent luxury long after western civilization melts down into a puddle f non-petroleum goo. We only need apply lots and oodles of cash. Only a quarter million bucks buy in! Wow, that might be a tinsey bit out of our price range. You wouldn’t mind losing that ass so I can pimp you out, do you Mabel?” Look, I don’t mind a lot of Yuppie advice. As long as you take immediate action to protect yourself cheaply, then slowly trade up. I’ve always hated Yuppie survival for its implied attitude that I wasn’t worthy of survival since I didn’t have money. The poor need not apply. I choose to be poor, as I prefer it. The more I made the more I paid the parasites, so to me it wasn’t worth it. A personal choice. But survival is not dependent on wealth. Luxury survival is. If you want to go the Yuppie route I won’t try to stop you. You are even welcome to continue reading here ( throw me a bone every once in awhile with an Amazon purchase ). But if you are going to preach Yuppie, at least let folks know there is an alternative. Now, to the point. I still must poke fun of yuppie survivalists. I can’t help myself. You should know this. So here goes. A contradiction in strategy. Yuppies think they have all the time in the world to prepare, but all their crash scenarios are either fast pace or don’t include economic disruption.
I think we will crash quickly. But I don’t think it will be quick enough to avoid being hurt by the economy. Yuppies, almost universally, work at a high paying job in an urban area and plan on bugging out. This plan isn’t perfect, but to be honest no plan is. Not even mine. It does allow for them to have the best of both worlds. Lots of money and a concrete bunker complex in the boonies. But, is their bunker protected from foreclosure? Is their job going to last until 11:59 PM, one minute to the balloon going up? Of course not. Can’t they see how things are going the last two years economically? Cops are being laid off, for goodness sakes. Does that sound like a sane thing to do right before crime soars from rising unemployment? Or does it sound like a rapid economic collapse ( The Modern Survival Manual: Surviving the Economic Collapse )? So, once again, we go back to a survival plan being only for the rich ( at least those plans that are universally available in book form or preached by 99% of survival writers- Rawles is the current incarnation, not the source of the evil ). For a time, just like home ownership or college, some were conned into thinking the middle class could play the rich mans game. Now the game is up. It becomes increasingly clear that Yuppie Survival was Rich Mans Survival in Lite form.
You work in town and mortgage the perfect survival retreat. In the event of Bird Flu ( Bird Flu: A Virus of Our Own Hatching ), or an EMP attack, or a nuke attack on the middle east oil refineries or a similar Out-Of-The-Blue event, you bug out to your perfect fortress. Magically, that mortgage is no longer relevant. Now, here is what is really going to happen. You are up to your ass in debt, both financing survival plans and keeping the Yuppie Whore happy. Your job is outsourced to India, or your local government goes broke. You lose it all. Yes, lately foreclosures have been put off by banks to keep things looking rosy. You want to bet that is going to save you indefinitely? Being out of debt and owning junk land is far better than a mortgaged dream retreat. Only the rich, with cash in hand, can prep using conventional advice. You can’t only have a crash without economic fallout, realistically. Look at Yuppie survival manuals. Economics are always downplayed to allow wiggle room. Realistic? In a Happier Place, perhaps.
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