ultra simple prepping

ULTRA SIMPLE PREPPING


Okay, as threatened I read the two fiction books, “One”( One ) and “American Apocalypse II” ( American Apocalypse II: Refuge (Volume 2) ) over the weekend. Let’s talk about “One”. Imagine my ass. Yes, it’s a middle age ass, so of course it’s a Hank Hill ( Hank Hill's The Boy Ain't Right ) ass ( a frogs ass, or, no ass to speak of ). Other than that, if I do say so myself, not a bad ass. Now, imagine it unwashed for a great length of time. Image fecal matter matted in my ass hair. Imagine running open sores from skin being unwashed. As bad as that is, now imagine the book “One” SUCKING MY ASS!!!!! This thing was crap. I forced myself to read fifty ( out of 350 ) pages, just in case it was slow to start. It didn’t start, mainly, one imagines, because it was busy SUCKING MY ASS!!!!! NPR, on a typical day, will irritate the hell out of me with some commie propaganda crap like today as they crooned softly and seductively about some twat introducing the concept of Meatless Monday, or some nonsense. Oh, we eat too much meat! We are clogging our arteries! We shouldn’t give up meat, but we should cut back! I’m here to Help The Children! All is well! Do not panic! It is painless to give up one day! Do not despair! You incredibly stupid rump humping whore. Do you know who else doesn’t eat a lot of meat? The friggin Commie peasants, that’s who. Man evolved as a hunter. Meat is meant to be a big part of our diet. NPR is simply trying to clear the ground for the near future ban or rationing on meat, feeding us worthless mouth breathers soy crackers ( special today- soylent green: THEY’RE FEEDING US PEOPLE!!! ) ( Soylent Green ) and saving the animal fresh for our fearless leaders. But you know what? As bad as that is, it doesn’t irritate me as much as the book “One” which, I’m nor sure I mentioned, SUCKED MY ASS!!!!

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Now, since I got that out of my system, let’s talk about the book American Apocalypse II. This booked kicked ass! I loved the first book, but this one was even better. It was well worth the $15 I paid for it. If Nova wrote me tomorrow, chest all puffed up with a crap eating grin on his face since he just got done reading “One” right after it was SUCKING ON MY ASS, and told me that since the first book was $10 and the second was $15, he was thinking about the next one costing $20, I would still spend the extra money buying that third book. That is how good they are. This guy can write a damn good book. Now, having said that, I like the fact that he publishes them online first so you can test them out. Then, no one starts crying to me about how they hated it and why was I recommending it, and BLAH, BLAH friggin BLAH. I didn’t read it free first, but you can. I think you will be hooked after the first chapter or two. As one way to show how much I liked it, let’s compare to SM Stirling. An extremely good writer, one of the best. I love his books and I think Dies The Fire ( Dies the Fire: A Novel of the Change ) is in the top 10 post-apocalypse fiction books ever. For all that, there are some things he does that really hack me off. Like his anti-firearm views ( or at least, that’s my perception ). Worse, his quakery about females being capable of being on par with males as warriors ( they are not 99% of the time, both mentally and physically- not to say they don’t have other strengths ). Almost as bad, his hug-a-tree-Celtic mystical-fantasy-crap. But Nova, treading almost the same ground, pulled it off much better. Bravo, Nova ( American Apocalypse: The Beginning (Beginnings) (Volume 1) )! And, as before, hurry up and put out the next paper version and I’ll buy it ( not fond of reading online, nor do I have the connection time for it ), you lazy bastard.

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I was introduced to survivalism about 1980 by a friend of a friend. At the time, I was only excited over the gun collection. Of course, the lust over the AR was quickly killed by joining the army and finding out what a stinky slimy smelling hunk of purple mule member this gun was. Let me put it this way- if the collapse came tomorrow and through some unreal weird turn of events I had my ex-wife ask for help, I would give her an AR or M-16 ( M16 A2 Style Airsoft Spring Powered Rifle ) to use. She would be dead very quickly. I wouldn’t even worry about her turning it on me. I would just run a clip of ammo through it first so it kept jamming after that. And, no, I do not think that adding a crapload of after market parts to it to get it to perform better should be the answer. If the son of a whore doesn’t work out of the box you shouldn’t rely on it to save your life. I feel sorry for our troops with this turkey. Anyway, I really didn’t do anything for the next ten years because of the usual advice out there that was all Yuppie Scum Survival Advice. As in, only the rich need apply to survive. Luckily, I ran across Kurt Saxon’s ( The Poor Man's James Bond (#C-065) ) short lived newspaper mentioning feed store wheat. At that I was off and running. It was the missing link to affordable prepping.

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At first, I bought a 45 and a Corona mill and 400 pounds of wheat. Then, I met wife #2 and I willingly signed over my testicles and my paychecks soon after. So I was stuck with the equipment I had already purchased beforehand. That was all I had. Wheat, a grinder ( Grizzly H7775 Cast Iron Corn / Grain Mill ), a gun ( with about 200 rounds ) and a few gallons of bleach. For a time, it didn’t look like I would ever get any more. So, as my mind is want to do, I started imagining different strategies ( or, more accurately, I was constantly daydreaming ). At the time we were living in the foothills or directly in the Sierra mountains of California. I gravitated towards the camping survival mode. But it wasn’t the “catch Bambi” camping survival mode, it was the hide-in-the-hills-and-eat-wheat camping survival mode. Now, obviously there were holes in my strategy, like not enough wheat, not enough cold weather gear, no grain cached, etc. But this wasn’t bad for a first time, semi-educated plan. It had the benefit of being cheap. It wasn’t very good, but it was better than everyone else and it wasn’t an automatic death sentence. I bring this up, because ever since then I’ve stuck with that plan but made it much better.

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If you are poor, if you must prepare quickly on very little, you really don’t need to get much more fancy than this. Away from people, with a means of protection and reserve food supplies. Huddling in a makeshift shelter covered in leaves, eating non-leavened bread, protecting yourself against intruders. Having most of your supplies stashed ( even a shallow buried five gallon bucket will most times suffice ), and being familiar with the area and being willing to slip away rather than fight for the bunker. This is basic stuff, but so far advanced from what the caveman ( Quest for Fire ) had ( a crappy Russian bolt beats a rock on a stick any day ) that you should be grateful for it. We whine and cry if we have wheat instead of freeze dried. We feel sorry for ourselves if we have an old WWII bolt gun instead of a semi-auto. We feel naked without concrete and BDU’s. But you can survive on not much more than the Big Four. Wheat, grinder, rifle and filter. If you look at it like that, everything else is gravy.
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