glitter and unicorns and butterscotch kisses

GLITTER AND UNICORNS AND BUTTERSCOTCH KISSES


Okay, I see how you all are. I scream at you in rage and frustration, the friggin sky is falling! The friggin sky is falling! Buy cheap grain now while you have a chance! You all look at each other in bewilderment and roll your eyes and scoff loudly and ask, what is that guys problem? But as soon as I put up a guest article which is fiction that says the same thing you stop, slap your forehead and wonder why you haven’t already got several years worth of grain. That was a pretty good piece of writing, wasn’t it? I guess fiction is simply much more effective getting the message across. Perhaps that’s why the masses all genuflect before Rawles ( Patriots: A Novel of Survival in the Coming Collapse ). We’re Not Worthy! Save us, our Yuppie God! Only you can show us the true path to continued everlasting nonstop consumerism and decadent luxury far after the oil supply dries up. Just because he wrote fiction first. Am I too logical for my own good, failing to see the power of fable over reasoned argument? Obviously.

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And speaking of Yuppie Scum, I finished the book “Off The Grid” by Nick Rosen ( Off the Grid: Inside the Movement for More Space, Less Government, and True Independence in Modern America )( his web site is http://www.off-grid.net/ ) this weekend. It wasn’t a bad book, but the overlying message seemed to be that everyone off grid he portrayed wanted to clutch tightly to the ideal of middle class. He talked about living simply yet every solution was high dollar. Expensive land, just like the Backwoods Home ( Backwoods Home Magazine: Best of the First Two Years ) folks. Got to spend a hundred grand to feed yourself eggs and asparagus. Not that food production is a bad idea, just that it is a really stupid idea if it involves a mortgage. No real junk land frugal types were covered. And the survivalists were portrayed as ignorant pukes believing in the oh-so-implausible Peak Oil theory ( how dare they not believe in everlasting growth! Anti-banker! Anti-banker! Burn them at the stake! ). I wouldn’t waste your money buying this book if you think you might get some good ideas out of it.

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Spare the rod, spoil the child ( Spare the Rod, Spoil the Child ). We all know totally monstrous kids that really need a good bone crushing beating to straighten them out. Of course, we would settle for a really red bleeding ass from a switch as an alternative. We aren’t allowed to be that cruel, and besides that kind of permanent injury would take the little bastard away from the cow stall or the cotton mill. No work, no food! But did you stop and consider how those spoiled kids turn out? Yuppie Scum. Spare the trauma and spoil the Yuppie. I don’t actually wish bad things on people, but you have to admit that a lot of folks these days really need a little genuine hardship in their lives to straighten them out. Put a bit of perspective in them. Life doesn’t end if the thermostat goes from eighty to seventy in the winter. Their legs don’t fall off if they had to walk from the back part of the parking lot. There actually have been modes of transportation throughout history besides SUV’s. This is not class envy. This is disbelief that people are so spoiled and their viewpoint is so out of kilter with reality. Luxury is fine, but it is earned by struggling to achieve it. Today’s generation was popped from the mothers womb and entered another one built from a surplus of energy and cash. They never grew up beyond being sheltered from anything unpleasant. People aren’t depressed because they are forced to earn less, they are going through womb withdrawal.

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Throughout history, life sucked the big high hard one. You popped out, got screwed, died early. Hardship, destitution, suffering were normal. Perhaps that started after we gave up the hunt for the garden, but I won’t drag that into the discussion in fear that you will scream wildly and run out and hug your brussel sprouts ( my pretty, oh my pretty. I won’t let the bad man take you away from me. Evil! Eviiiiiil!!! ) and fail to read the rest of the article. I’m not saying people sat around and were all depressed and unhappy. This was normal, and life went on. Half your kids were expected to die. It didn’t hurt any less when it happened, but it wasn’t a life ending event as it was expected. In some ways life might even have been better. It is hard to say how those people survived without Starbucks ( Starbucks VIATM Ready Brew Italian Roast Coffee by Starbucks Coffee ) and soccer practice after school where everyone gets a trophy for participating ( we can’t have the little bastards thinking they aren’t as good as anyone else. Hell, let’s just give each one of them a Nobel Peace Prize while we are at it ).

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Yes, I too doubt the life of a medieval serf ( The Serf, the Knight, and the Historian ) was one I’d like to live ( you’ll find out as soon as your farm is controlled by the new Baron ). Life was too hard. But now it is too easy. No happy medium, everyone expects the oil to last forever and life to always and forever more be all glitter, unicorns and butterscotch kisses. Newsflash, dumbass. Life is still as hard as it always has been for economically colonized Third World pukes that we exploit for our own gain ( don’t tell me resource theft ever stopped- before it was survival, now it is for luxury ). The oil has already run out for most of the African population ( who must be content with whatever they can steal from the tapped into Shell pipeline ). The Chinese are already doing better than us in the growth with less oil ( although I wonder if their per capita energy use is equal to ours once coal is factored in ), leading me to believe that we have reached the point where additional energy input delivers nothing but a lessoning in our decrease economically. Your turn living the sucky life is just around the corner. Your optimism will not protect you, but it sure will hurt you as the unexpected happens. If you are lucky it is a life time of decline. Unlucky and it is die-off.

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I understand optimism paid off for many generations. That should have ended shortly after the last Boomer ( Boomer Goes to School ) was born. Per capita, energy has been declining as population soars. We are losing energy available for each of us as more people are born. The pie is shrinking. You can’t print money to solve that problem. You can’t deny there exists a problem and think it goes away. Stop being so damn optimistic. It never lasts. Sure, enjoy it while you can. Just don’t make a lifetime of plans assuming it is normal.

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My e-mail is jimd303@netzero.com
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