Both days are guest articles this weekend.
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I was once again perusing my Amazon commissions orders list ( listed what items were ordered, nothing personal or revealing ), wondering how I actually manage to get people to keep supporting my mad scribblings even as I insult and badger them, and I came across an order for heirloom seeds. At Amazon! Who knew? Yes, yes, I know it is a third party order, but it still amazes me that they list heirloom seeds ( Broom Corn Amish Rainbow Blend Certified Organic Heirloom Seeds 60 Seeds
). Now all the minions that see salvation in asparagus can order their seeds through Amazon and I shall reap vast profits and expand my global conglomerate of chicken little products, Unibomber ( Technological Slavery: The Collected Writings of Theodore J. Kaczynski, a.k.a. "The Unabomber"
) screeds, and desert hermitage real estate holdings. Behold! Tremble before me.*
I received my copy of “The things that keep us here” by Carla Buckley ( The Things That Keep Us Here: A Novel
) today. I want to thank the minion that suggested it as it looks quite promising. If it sucks, you shall be ridiculed and mocked. If it is good a thousand Bison Brownie points shall be deposited into your account. I’ll try to get to it this weekend, although it all depends what I find at the library. As usual, you tremble at the prospects of my opinion being shared and I’ll try not to keep you waiting.*
Mother Nature is a cruel and heartless whore ( Queen Of The Whores
), almost as bad as the foul creature that escaped the furthest reaches of the bowels of Hell and descended on an unsuspecting mankind, my ex-wife ( wife #2 ). People look up at a sparkling rainbow and a radiant sunset and marvel at nature. And of course a prancing unicorn ( Sterling Silver Prancing Unicorn Charm
) sprinkles pixie dust into the babbling brook they drink out of as they gasp in wonder. So they’re a bit buzzed. I enjoy a good display myself, but usually when I think of nature I think of things like super volcano’s blowing out a huge crater from Wyoming and filling the atmosphere with ash for three years that kills most plant life ( which includes all crops ) or rodents spreading bubonic plague or evil insects burrowing into my flesh and laying meat consuming larva. There was a reason peasants huddled in their hovels every night. The uneducated peons were smarter than us, realizing wolves might eat them. We just go jogging with I-Pods ( Apple iPod nano 8 GB Pink (4th Generation) [Previous Model]
) drowning out stalkers (either two or four legged kinds ). Hell, a feces flinging baboon has more smarts than the average urban Yuppie scum. *
One of those nifty, beautiful, glorious things Mother Nature ( Mother Nature: Maternal Instincts and How They Shape the Human Species
) does is regulate the environment by starvation and die-off. Animals just keep reproducing as long as there is food. The forest fills up with deer, who eat all the plants, who then start to starve. The deer, not the plants. So, to all you tree hugging, Volvo driving, armpit hair braiding freaks, enjoy the site of Bambi ( Bambi (2-Disc Special Platinum Edition)
) frolicking with Ma in the flower strewn meadow. Come winter, since you voted to outlaw guns and hunting, the bitch will be starving as an overpopulated herd left no food. Way to be compassionate you stupid twat. Sorry, I had to throw that in. That has been covered by others previously however. What few are pointing out is that it is a rare tribe of humans that show a collective intelligence greater that dumb beasts. We don’t learn from our past. Collectively at least ( and I don’t know about some of you personally, ignoring repeated examples of the ongoing global grain crisis ) we always overpopulate and then starve off.*
How can we clearly see the cause and effects of deer populations and adequate grazing and then be totally blind to our own species folly? We have not only stripped the forest of all edible plants even as our numbers climb, we also paved it over for condos. Perhaps this is a genetic blind spot, to allow the reproductive urges to be unrestrained. Perhaps all species race to be the first to fill their environment to crowd out others and damn the consequences. Perhaps we just ain’t that smart. If all species are kept in check through starvation and die off, and our reproductive behavior mimics all other species, why are we immune to die-off? Because we’re smarter than animals? If that is true it would be the first civilization to learn from the past. Which is contrary to all the evidence. We are madly rushing towards resource depletion to say nothing of fouling our own nest to the point of being forced out of it. Short of little green men descending on Roswell ( Roswell: Season 1
) and delivering room temperature fusion secrets, we will run out of natural gas derived fertilizer and coal powered electricity pumping up water for crops. *
My point is that we rarely take sacrificial steps to avoid famine, starvation and die-off. I’m trying to use the “hunters, know thyself” theme to point to similar behavior of our species to brutes having far less brain power. I like my theory about tribes always racing towards stealing their neighbors food to survive, but we won’t revisit that. But why do you think that at the last minute we will totally change our behavior and live sustainably. The way we feed the population now is what makes money for those in power. In effect, it is power over life and death as well as the ability to enrich themselves. One day these people are going to wake up and say, gee, I don’t think shipping genetically modified corn ( Genetically Modified Food - Panacea or Poison
) ten thousand miles away is a good idea -I’ll just let everyone grow their own heirloom seeds? Do you really think so? Look at the near past behavior, with the USDA requiring mandatory livestock tagging and the ability to hide genetic modified seeds and the intellectual property rights of mega-seed corporations to neighboring crops when wind blown or animal carried pollen corrupted their field ( I might have the details slightly off, but you get the point ). Even simple zoning can stop your ability to feed yourself. The king never gives up the throne for the good of the people. Don’t expect it to happen now.*
Look at the future logically, not through tinted glasses.
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The Official Bison Web Site http://www.bisonpress.com/
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My e-mail is jimd303@netzero.com
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Anyone can submit a guest article. No minimum word length, no writing skill necessary ( just get the idea across ). You retain copyright ( this must be your original writing ) and I’ll just use the once. I’ve yet to turn down an article, just don’t use the N Bomb or libel another that can sue me. Send by e-mail ( please, label as “guest article” so I can find it easily later ). Payment will be your removal from my enemies list.
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6 comments:
Lord Bison Sayeth:
Hell, a feces flinging baboon has more smarts than the average urban Yuppie scum.
You are my freaking hero. All hail the wisdom of Bison
Hail Darwin
There was a good article on this subject just last week at www.independent.ie called "Africa is giving nothing to anyone---apart from AIDS" by Kevin Myers.
Here's a small quote from the article, "Unlike most of you, I have been to Ethiopia; like most of you, I have stumped up the loot to charities to stop starvation there. The wide-eyed boy-child we saved, 20 years or so ago, is now a priapic, Kalashnikov-bearing hearty, siring children whenever the whim takes him."
This was a really good article that poses some uncomfortable questions. Does keeping people alive when they live in a marginal environment really the kindest thing to do? I guess it is, if you're the one starving, but on a Global Scale all it does is make the problem worse.
That'll give you something to chew over this weekend.
You're hair is marvelous and awe-inspiring by the way. With that lustrious main, have you thought of running for a political office?
Idaho Homesteader
They've published The Collected Writings Of Uncle Ted eh? How hilarious. I've always maintained that he'd have made his point much better by learning how to write, and then just kept on writing - not bombing. Sure, he'd have had to endure some time living like he did in his cabin, a decade or two, and then once he'd poured out enough words, done his 10,000 hours to virtuosity, he'd have made it. He'd have money to buy enough acreage to keep the yuppie condos at bay, have had cute hippie girls to sleep with, the whole nine yards.
But, there was that matter of the 10,000 hours, wasn't there? That would be work. Bombing was a short-cut. He wasn't gonna work no 10,000 hours at the craft of writing to get somewhere, no siree! He was gonna show 'em! Blow 'em up! And he did and now The Collected Writings of Lazy Ted are on Amazon.
The trouble is, his writing is not going to echo down the ages like that of writers who did it properly. Learned by sheer hard work how to write. Van Gogh was a man who wrote daily, LONG letters between him and his brother. But he's remembered as a man who painted. And Ted will be remembered as the guy who bombed.
OK - since it is fiction I bought the Kindle version.
I finished that Caribbean silliness you mentioned awhile back: The Fall of Eden. LOL. What a bunch of losers! The insane military types and amazing whiners stuck with each other. I have never seen a book try to maintain a first person narrative with such a whiney primary character: except maybe Catcher in the Rye, and I haven't read that in decades so I am not sure.
There was a post nuclear book where the people set sail from the Chesapeake and eventually make it to the Caribbean and beyond. It reminds me of that one. It was set in the Reagan era, and suitably ant-republican. I could swear the author is using that for his inspiration.
Long Voyage Back by Luke Rinehart: not awful, but get the cheap used copy.
http://www.amazon.com/Long-Voyage-Back-Luke-Rhinehart/dp/1557501300
As far as charity to people in marginal situations, not a cent from me to people outside of the USA. They will grow up to come here and take your job or place in school often with much lower grades and test scores. But I have do and will help people I can relate to. Even Jims food panty no doubt has both needy people who deserve a hand, and greedy people who are not so deserving.
Bah! Americans don't understand cause and effect! 14 years of Republicans in charge advocating starving the beast and then when the beast is actually starving and falling apart, Americans blame it on the Democrats!
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