santa's list

SANTA’S LIST


As you knew I would I must first respond to the comment stating that Malthusian ( The Malthusian Catastrophe ) theory is incorrect since thus far they have been disproved. Let me make the same argument. Let’s jump in our slightly modified DeLorian ( Back to the Future: Time Machine Mark I Car ) and go back three years. “I say, boy, lookee here at house prices. Why, how can anyone say that they will ever go down since nationally house prices have increased for almost a hundred years.” ( here we discount the effects of inflation and a few scattered examples such as 20’s Florida or 80’s Texas and Oklahoma ) Of course you would look all shame faced and get red with embarrassment since you couldn’t prove that house prices could go down nationally. Because they hadn’t since record keeping was kept. So, since all past experience has pointed to an ever increasing rise in house prices we must conclude they always will rise. The math behind Malthusian collapse is valid. Its proponents merely had the misfortune of timing, as the Oil Age interfered. Solar and nuclear do NOT have the energy ratio of petroleum, net. And to say something else will come along is essentially betting your life on magical fantasy pixie dust being delivered in time. No thanks, I’ll put a few measly thousand into storage food, weapons and junk land. Even if you went hog wild and spent ten grand, in a decade of minimum wage earnings you’ve “lost” ( if you can claim insurance is a loss ) only 6% of your gross. On the other hand, mandatory car insurance that you might not need but is a bribe you pay to drive is a never ending 5% which you pay all your life. Do you really think frugal prepping for total collapse is that expensive of a bet?

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More than one minion has asked me what I would do with an unexpected windfall. To be totally honest I have little earthly idea. Once you go frugal it’s hard to go back to mindless consumption. Okay, I’m not frugal with books. That is really my only expensive vice. If I was more cost conscious I would only order from the library and buy at the used book store. I would try out each and every book before I bought my own copy. But I’m willing to gamble on a lot of books. Not that I’ve gotten too many duds since Amazon reviews do a pretty good job of informing my selection. Sometimes I think I’m frugal with everything else just so I can buy more books. So, let’s be more specific. In prepping, I have a hard time NOT settling for the absolute cheapest possible tool or solution. What the hell do I need a water well for? It is cheaper to buy a lot close to the river. Why do I need to spend hundreds on a above trailer water tank and solar heater ( Double Hung Window Solar Air Heater Panel - 32"x18" ) when I can use indoor gravity and a simple solar box. Sure, it is slightly more inconvenient to dip a pan into a five gallon bucket ( storage is two weeks worth of water in camping jugs, daily use is several buckets with Gamma Seal [ Leaktite Corp. 5GAMMA6 Screw Top Lid ] lids ) than turn on the tap. If that convenience is worth spending the money on, go for it. It ain’t to me. I own four cheap grain grinders for less than the price of one premier unit. News flash, they both make flour. While it would be great fun to have a twenty round semi-auto pistol with laser site, an old beater revolver will defend you just as well.

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So, let’s say I got ten grand. What the heck could I do with it, prep wise? Let’s also stick with the suggested one thousand max for food storage. And while we’re at it, limit all categories to a thousand. A grand would double my years of grain storage. And add a lot of supplemental beans. I wouldn’t add canned or dried meat. I feel much more warm and fuzzy with vegetable protein for food storage since you can buy so much more. I prefer pounds and pounds of dripping animal flesh for a weekly diet, but we don’t live in Fantasyland. We live in limited resources land, whether you mean the oil supply or the amount of goods your paycheck can buy. And as much as I love the HK-91( Leapers Low Profile Rail Scope Mount For Hk-91 H&k G3 GSG-5 MP5 SP89 Hk-91 93 94 & Cetme Rifles ), in my view the perfect survival battle rifle as it combines reliability with accuracy ( a very rare trait in firearms where you usually can only pick one or the other ), I still wouldn’t buy any. Even if I bought the $600 Spanish versions instead of the $1200 German units ( the only flaw in the Spanish is the crappy iron sites which is not an issue if you stick with longer range [ you only need 300 yards to beat the average enemy ] and glass optics ) and allowed myself unlimited funds, once you bought several rifles, a few parts kits, a hundred mags and ten thousand rounds of ammo, there ain’t much left. Oh, sure, if a New York publisher gave me a hundred grand for a book, I’d pay off the ex, hire a lawyer to sue her in civil court, build a concrete underground lair, buy twenty years of wheat and beans, and still have plenty left over for my fantasy arsenal. But until then it is a misuse of money. Instead, I would just buy a chamber insert and nine hundred bucks worth of Commie Carbine ammo for use in my Enfields.

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Only down two grand. Okay, I’d take a thousand and build a double or triple insulated solar gain ( Solar Architecture: The Direct Gain Approach (Energy Learning Systems Book) ) cabin. Instead of poured concrete I’d just lay black painted cement blocks. Far less efficient but a lot cheaper. I’m only talking an 8x8 structure here so I’m sure a grand would cover it. Ferro-cement and tar the roof. The book shelves I’d add to the “book” category. After shelves on all four walls I’d spend the rest dwindling down my “wish list” at Amazon. I spend an average of $12 a book after shipping, so I could get quite a few books to add. Four down, six to go. Half a grand on a few good solar panels and the other half on acid drained marine batteries for long term storage. Half done. And I’m running out of ideas. It would be nice to have a moped for getting to work, but as I’ve already said I would want the Japanese model so I had a reliable mechanic source ( the Chinese versions are, to my thinking, disposable ). I won’t spend three grand on a moped ( while I was at it I would be buying the two person model to eliminate the truck ). Even if I’m saving a hundred bucks a month giving up the truck with its insurance and five miles per gallon ( I can’t figure out how I got seven per pulling the trailer up here over several grades ), I have a hard time believing we won’t have a major gasoline supply issue in the next three years ( the payback time on the moped ). Either supply from overseas or unaffordable prices. I’m mentally prepared for conventional motor transport to end at any time. So why replace one gas burner for another if I never see a pay back period? So I guess I’ll just get a few extra bikes, bike trailers and a butt load supply of tires and parts for another grand.

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Still another four thousand. Your average Yuppie Scum survivalists ( Survivalist’s Medicine Chest ) would insist that wasn’t enough for either a sidearm arsenal or freeze dried mystery meat in cans. I’m tapped out on ideas how to spend it prep-wise. I guess I could rent out a backhoe for a day and have some fool dig for me for a hundred bucks. Call that five hundred, with another five hundred for a crap load of PVC pipe. I could dig a pit to back the Hippie Bread Van into and dig a few trenches to put pipe in. Since my lot gradually runs downhill it is perfect for the pipe buried four feet under that naturally channels ground cooled/heated air up into the trailer to assist in temperature moderation inside. Or into the new double insulated cabin. Or both. Whatever. And I would refill the trenches by hand so that I’ll be able to bury and hide a whole lot of buckets of wheat. How about a grand for post-apocalypse investing? That might work. A thousand bucks worth of rifle primers. I wonder how much that would buy. I haven’t priced them for years. And let’s go another grand in water filters. You could argue that filters and primers are both barter, but they could be both barter and personal use. So I’m not technically going over the one grand limit per category. Just like Bill Clinton technically didn’t have sexual relations with Monica since there was no genital penetration. I would say, buy twenty Berky filter elements. But how about a few hundred unglazed clay pots? That really increases your supply. I imagine a nursery might be able to order wholesale for you and you can keep them in their packing material ( of course, check the condition first before repacking ). And the last grand? Now I’m really stymied. You make one up. I’m done. Christ, trying to spend money without waste or unnecessary purchases is hard damn work. You should try it some time.
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