fundamentals- yuppie survivalists

FRIDAY FUNDAMENTALS-YUPPIE SURVIVALISTS


Back when every self respecting survivalist ( the term most likely not yet invented and so they probably referred to themselves as Prudent, Safe, etc. ) either dreamed of or was busy constructing a nuclear fallout shelter, there obviously was a bit more urgency involved in preparing. Not much, as I can’t imagine too many more folks dropping out of the rat race than there are today. You lived in suburbia, so a direct hit on an urban core with its blast effects were not a concern. Obviously you were going to die since half to three quarters of your waking hours during the week days were spent in the city at work, and if I were a good Soviet general and wanted to wipe out most of the decedent capitalist running dogs I would time an attack during work hours. But a nuclear fallout shelter let you relax, go about being a cog in the machine, sleep soundly at night regardless of your vulnerability. Of course, you knew, logically, you needed to get cracking with that backhoe, concrete blocks and roof support beams. Obviously the Soviets were sneaky bastards and could attack at any time. But since you assigned that decision to attack a low level of probability, the shelter was either a work in progress or still in the planning stages. The threat was real, but the odds were long. You didn’t panic enough to alter your lifestyle. Good thing! That collage education and retirement plans would have been for naught if you stopped being a corporate drone.

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Today, there are different threats. We could still see global nuclear war and almost total death. But the odds are as great as an asteroid hitting us. It could happen tomorrow but the odds are against it. Don’t panic, don’t stop being a corporate drone. Don’t take your money out of the bank, don’t stop mortgage payments or SUV purchases. Keep doing the smart thing, slowly buying farm land, twenty three semi-autos and ten thousand rounds of ammo for each. Bird flu, pig flu, or feline flu ( tip of the hat to The Simpson’s for that idea, an episode where the TV networks engineered a fake hoax ) might hit tomorrow, but odds are the CDC will keep a lid on things. Inflation is about to take off but we’ve recovered from worse financial problems. Concern yourself, but don’t stop living in the city. Buy a $300,000 military surplus troop carrier with NBC filters so you can bug out to your retreat. HINT-ALL OF THE ABOVE IS SARCASM.

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The Yuppie Survival Writers ( 9 out of 10 of all prep/panic/Peak writers ) want you to panic, but not too quickly. If you stop working full time in the city, you can’t continue to support the central bank run government/corporate clients, but just as importantly you can’t support their advertisers, who without fail sell unnecessarily overpriced frills. Look, I don’t think Yuppie Survival Gurus are bad people. They honestly believe they are giving the best, most responsible advice. But they are still slaves to human nature, and they won’t embrace reality if it threatens their livelihood. None of us allow our basic needs to be threatened. No matter the reason. And like it or not, most of us perceive the need for corporate slavery to provide food and shelter. What I’m trying to point out is that most writers are not evil, or stupid, but simply have a blind spot. Their advice is unrealistic for the simple fact that it takes too long. If they are wrong and collapse happens quickly, you die. Their preps take a big chunk of your wages for decades. It is the best equipment, with the best odds of keeping you alive a long time, but it is only good for a long slow collapse. My frugal prep advice is the bare minimum to keep you alive in severe discomfort. If I am wrong about a sudden collapse, you are left with a core holding of supplies. Then you have time to acquire better. In a sense, the collapse velocity isn’t as important as being prepared in case you bet wrong.

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Now, which way the collapse? Rome, the Mayans, the Mesopotamians, whoever, are said to have collapsed over a period of 300 years, 200 years, etc. In three centuries you go from conquering your neighbors to being a damp spot in the middle of a field populated by wild game. From all to nothing. To which I reply, where is there anything concrete to collaborate the guesses of historians? Why is there such a black, unknown period during and after the collapse? There are no surviving records of what happened. A huge, continent wide empire, where written records of poets, astronomers, and the tax man survive, but nothing about the decline and collapse. My guess is that the fall was so sudden and the destruction so complete that nothing at all, not even oral records passed down ( as there were virtually no survivors ) survived. I could be wrong. I’m not a professional scholar financed by the taxpayer, nor do I have a Sugar Momma to support my full time research ( not that I’d be adverse to one- all offers considered, especially from buxom wenches- seriously ), so while I spend more time than your average bear studying these kinds of things I still don’t have near enough time for research. But that is not the point. The point is that if I’m wrong I’ve done no harm. If the Yuppie Survivors are wrong, you aren’t ready and you die. I can’t make it any plainer than that. Don’t bet on who is right, bet on being covered in case you are wrong.

END FUNDAMENTALS

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I originally titled this “fast or slow collapse” but I’ll save that for another Fundamentals. Listening to which advice and describing collapse are related but different. This one kind of got away from me, my pure pulsating hatred coloring my judgment. Forgive my transgressions. I wanted to follow all the animal kill stories but have no time. Sigh. I’ll be prepping for the economic collapse and a damn flock of birds will die over my traveling truck and the windshield will crack from falling fowl and I’ll panic and swerve and run off the one cliff around here and die. If I had only read up on the mystery deaths.  I didn't get around to writing the Sat. article, but a guest writer will be filling in.

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