TIMING THE COLLAPSE
National Pravda Radio had an interesting piece on global electronics. Seems the Japanese quake took out about 40% of flash drive production. If you are waiting to buy an expensive item and you think near future supply might halt, consider buying now. I heard it on the radio Wed. afternoon, perhaps the NPR Web site has more info for you.
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Sam, I got yet another generous donation from you. Many thanks, but I’ll understand if you want to stop for awhile. Unless you know something I don’t and are dumping your dollars- then go right ahead. Your last one bought a new shovel after mine broke trying to get the truck unstuck. It is a Wal-Fart shovel so it won’t last forever, but it beats the old one with its new one foot handle. That killed my back, shoveling stooped over. So you see, your generous gifts do get put to good use. And yes, the chocolate does go to the wife. Almost always. Sometimes I steal a bit, but not often. Chocolate isn’t even my favorite, other than on
Milk Duds
. And I won’t share come Christmas if anyone gives me
fudge
. But it really is her fault, since she just leaves it around, taunting me with the “forbidden fruit” syndrome. I always seem to crave whatever we don’t have in the cupboards. Or what the wife has in her stash. Hell, I almost never ate Muncho brand chips ( not sure I spelled that right, the Pringle type that use dried potato ) until she added them to her shopping list and left them to defy my snack needs. If the stuff wasn’t developed during the
Cold War
to outlast radioactive isotopes it would all go bad, she leaves it there so long. They’re all agin me, I tells ya.
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One minion, one of the rare ones with an actual sense of humor that doesn’t get all
butt hurt
whenever I mock and abuse everyone, vomiting my black soul upon you as the mood fits, jokes he thinks he’s smart enough to think he can time the collapse. Making light of his questionable tactics of having his cake and eating it too, living Yuppie now and hoping to escape in time. Well,
bugging out
could mostly be trying to time the collapse. But to my mind it usually patterns itself after all those disaster/collapse movies where the folks actually wait until a nuke strike to drive out of Dodge. Reading a lot of the comments at almost every other prep blog I get the sense that most folks are pretty damn dense when it comes to the big picture and it would in fact take a hammer blow to the head to convince them to leave their wonderfully lucrative employment. They wouldn’t actually leave unless the work office was under a
tsunami
or a heap of radioactive rubble, their fear of financial destitution is so great. And, boy howdy, let me tell you! When I even brought up
Peak Oil 
at an unnamed prep blog that is based in Tennessee and starts with the initials Survivalist Blog.Net those yahoos went batcrap crazy and ballistic. The mantra seemed to be, its okay to collect semi-auto’s and buy
MRE’s 
for a short term disaster, just don’t confuse us with the facts of resource depletion ( no offense to the
unnamed writer
of the blog, bless you for keeping the Pollyanna’s away from me- and I will give a shout out to my two minions that came to my defense ).
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So, really, in actual practice, bugging out is most likely just trying to flee your Bad Yuppie Self lifestyle. Timing the collapse would most likely entail trying to get out before disaster struck. I’m not trying to split hairs or confuse the issue. I would call bugging out fleeing after even
Captain Obvious
knew the end was nigh, and timing the collapse as getting out at the very early stages, before most were even aware. Does this strategy suck? Of course it does. Almost all strategies suck when you are trying to live in both worlds. We want to be able to afford a trophy wife and keep her from being eaten by mutant biker zombies. But that is a darn hard thing to do. You can find a wife that will live out of harms way, but take it from me, they have their own set of baggage. Most bitches ( THE
classic line
, “Why do you call us bitches or ho’s?“ “ Cause that’s what you is”- relax, ladies, I’m mostly joking ) insist on flushing toilets, a mortgage and their own car. Just stop short of a
boob job
. You can’t repo them and the owner will take them along to entice a bigger paycheck.
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But at least trying to time the
collapse
is somewhat proactive rather than reactive.
Buggering
( sorry, I can’t help it- short for bugging out but meant in the most British slang manner ) is all panic and flight. Well, dear, no choice now. We have to drive to Crazy Uncle Bob’s and bring along the AR and the bucket of freeze dried yak bowels and live in the woods now that New York has been glassed over. Surely you understand, right honeykins surgarbear? Oh, Christ on the cross. Stop being a pussy and tell the bitch you’re all moving to West BumHump Montana to wait for the
apocalypse
. Okay, so you get divorced. If you are correct about the collapse she won’t get too much money ( hint- get a lower paying job prior to divorce. No guarantee but it might help on lowering payments ). If you are wrong, you get to pay to keep the worthless fool away. It’s a win-win. Anyway, not to get distracted, panic and covering your ass is bugging out. Timing the collapse is leaving when it simply doesn’t look like things are going to improve. And it is now or never. Now, before the general panic.
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Buggering is not a great strategy. You could get stuck in traffic and shot for your supplies. Timing the collapse is also a less than ideal
strategy
. You could really misread the tea leaves. But at least you know waiting until the end is stupid. You are still smarter than the Equipment Commandos, fearless clerks of industry by day, fabulously fearless warriors of doom come the collapse ( or, give me a semi and I shall transform into Superman, even if I am a fat little weasel ). You do the best with what you have. Yes, I constantly harp that it isn’t good enough. But that applies to myself also. Take it with a grain of salt, cause I’m not so in love with my own ideas I’m blind to others.
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The Official Bison Web Site
http://www.bisonpress.com/
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My e-mail is jimd303@netzero.com
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Anyone can submit a guest article. No minimum word length, no writing skill necessary ( just get the idea across ). You retain copyright ( this must be your original writing ) and I’ll just use the once. I’ve yet to turn down an article, just don’t use the N Bomb or libel another that can sue me. Send by e-mail ( please, label as “guest article” so I can find it easily later ). Payment will be your removal from my enemies list.
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By the by, all my writing is copyrighted. For the obtuse out there.
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11 comments:
I KNEW you were teasing about eating mint-strawberry chocolate!
Por nada, Jim. I'm in the position to help...and vanity plays a role. I mean, which of us doesn't idly fantasize about being able to help an artist, when things were a bit grim for them.
Mostly it's the writing - it's h-a-r-d to write well! So without meaning to hurt your feelings, I read you for the: writing, humor and then the advice you give - sorry!
Keep up the good work.
Timing the collapse? As Spock says, "fascinating but illogical" I bought 8 ounces of reagent grade potassium iodide for y2k. I paid about 20 dollars. I live near 3 nuke plants and wanted to be ready. I took it home and put it on a shelf, where it still sits. Fast forward to today, The Japanese reactors are damaged, and potassium iodide is selling for hundreds of dollars on Ebay. Are the Ebay pills really potassium iodide or fakes made from table salt? Mine is real, because I bought it from a chemical supply store in 1998!
Quantitative easing (massive money printing) is scheduled to end in June 2011. The Fed is now pumping 4 billion dollars into the US economy EVERY DAY. WTF will happen when this stops? PREP NOW OR DIE LATER Hail Darwin
What do you think the odds are that all these people with elaborate bugout plans will succeed? I bet most urban types will get about six blocks. I'm a firm believer in go live at your safe location NOW. To hell with the corner office and boring lunches with other suites. Get out to the middle of nowhere immediately, learn to like eating dandelions and crap in a bucket.
Or wait for just the right moment when inevitably it will be too late.
Seeing how we seem to have exchanged residence locals, myself in Melbourne and you in Elko. I wonder whom bugged out properly. You see, I came to the conclusion that keeping oneself warm in winter was very important after the grid goes down.
I've gotten to where the woods here are comfortable, and would say that 99% of the folks here are terrified of crossing the St. Johns into cracker country. I be one of em now.
Anywho, give me a good reason to move back up to Gods country and be able not ta freeze come winter.
Less you got horse or mule to haul firewood, ya'll gonna freeze to death up there. That sagebrush burns pretty well tho.
Least I gots a woman whom will follow me no matter. Came here to sail the Islands, till I figured out that once the US gov. is gone,
everyone in the whole damn planet hates our butts !
Save me O lord Bison of the norte
History strongly suggests trying to time just about anything is a fools errand. Sure, some people will succeed at the task out of sheer coincidence, but trying to time just about anything (stock market, commodity prices, collapse) means being wrong 99% of the time.
This is one of your funniest articles yet.
Your hair must be extra silky soft today.
Idaho Homesteader
Business idea; create an app for smartphone-toting yuppie survivalists that will alert them when the collapse has arrived and let them know it's time to bugout.
I think most of us who plan to bugout will readily admit it's a very bad plan. On the other hand, if I have to hawk my guns and loose my paid-for land b/c I can scrape together taxes since I don't have a job, not sure I'm a whole lot better off.
Sure, I could say screw it, move to BFE and put up buckets of wheat and have the wife divorce me. Where the fuck is that gonna leave my kids? With her on the east coast? I don't hate my kids (or the wife).
I'm looking to relocate to NE or near there, until then the plan is to bugout. Chances are we'd not make it, I know.
I searched the dictionary to find the right word to express what I am trying to express in regard to the Japanese dilemma, No luck, so I am going to go with fuckedness.So far beyond hopelessness as to be rendered fucked squared.
I would almost think they had severely pissed off the almighty if I was disposed to believe in a deity (which I am not).At least Noah got some key intel when needed.
When the wall street corp suckers realize it is going to take more than three fiscal quarters to recover from ten disasters hitting all at once, they will shit and go blind while the band plays on.Should be by late next week.
How many of you have a geiger counter? Just curious?
the rat
17 HMR and 22 WMR compared.
http://www.jesseshunting.com/index.php?request=articles.index&type=guns&catid=16&artid=92
They are both excellent. I choose 22LR subsonic to harvest meaty little critters (from the free lunch counter) because it is very quiet. After SHTF I do not want human predators to hear my shots.
Paranoia does not cost. It pays.
"christ on the cross" you are KILLING ME!!!! I almost pissed my pants laughing!!!! A political statement if I could; I believe there is NO way to predict the timing of an economic colapse, the fed and wall street have ALOT of money, and ALOT of tricks(derivitives,currency swaps, keyboard printing press,cayman accounts,bond swaps,phantom accounts,conterfeit us bonds, conterfeit foreighn bonds,discount windows,2 balance sheets,market to model accounting,discount windows,backroom deals, and black box trading)So where does this leave us? I believe we could see an economic collapse, but most likely(i believe) that we will live through a slow decline for 20 years, and after they tax every frn they can from us it will be soilent green time, NO stew pot, just a plate!
HEY DAKIN- your blog was so much funner when you let us ass hats free reign in the comments, I do miss that!
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