panicking late

PANICKING LATE


I’m listening to NPR, surprised as hell that they don’t have some fuzzy foreigner on imploring Uncle Obammy for democracy, but actual news regular people ( as opposed to cottage cheese ass, SUV driving, oxygen wasting Yuppie Scum who can only feel a bit of remorse when the victim is a Little Brown Person in a Far Away Land that wasn’t affected by their normal parasitic [ you didn’t think they got wealthy through honest toil, did you? ] practices ) could use. Namely, Kansas farmers are getting all tight nippled and sphincter clenched over the high cost of cotton. Screw corn, that only brings in half the profit ( I’m guessing on the profit amount, I didn’t catch that info ) and uses a third more water. So what if taking more acreage out of food is a bad idea. So what if food prices go up ethanol prices skyrocket and effect the gas prices. By gum, we need to make our combine payment! I don’t blame the farmers, usually just modern sharecroppers trying to survive the corporate screw job like the rest of us. And I don’t necessarily blame the free market ( even if what we have is mercantilism ). I blame the fact that agriculture was never viewed as a strategic asset. Countries like France and ( used to be ) Japan that supported inefficient decentralized growers are being a lot smarter than we are. Or, should I say, actually have leaders that value the life of its citizens. I’m thinking the French Revolution did a lot to instill multi-generational fear in its leadership about pissing off and starving the mob.

*

Okay, as about three of you noticed, I aborted the fiction blog reincarnation before it even got started. I’m biking home the other afternoon, racking my brain on what to write about when I got home, plus trying to juggle the writing before sundown, the trench digging, the bathing and the dinner, and I just said “screw it”. What in the name of god, of all that is holy and just, am I friggin thinking of? I don’t have an aptitude for fiction, I’ll be doubling the anguish of trying to birth subject matter, I’m killing any free time I would have had and the financial rewards will be negligible. My primary motivator had been to do something exciting, try to get that drug like rush of new creationism. And on the third day I’m back to struggling. I won’t ever give up the dream of fiction, but it sure ain’t happening right now. Sorry if I promised the moon and delivered disappointment. That’s just how I roll, dawg.

*

We all know you are all going to panic late. A few of you are fully prepped, have been since about the time I was still soiling my clothe diapers ( my mom, whatever our minor personal issues, will always have my gratitude for being a stay-at-home, make everything from scratch, no debt, no waste practitioner ), and only use my blathering as a new form of entertainment since there isn’t diddly crap on TV anymore outside reality shows ( yes, I know, every generation says only its music was good, its TV programs were worth a crap, they worked hard, they weren’t undisciplined young punk asses and they alone walked five miles to school in the snow ) I’m about all they have, as sad as that is. A few of you were actually motivated to follow frugal prepper advice, if only to shut me up. And the vast majority are taking the worst of both, reading for entertainment and wishing I would be quiet. You are like fat bitches. You clearly see the jelly rolls hanging down ( I have low standards in selecting a women, and I still must draw the line at having to lift up a slab of flab to get to the prize underneath ) but you have a hundred and one excuses why it is okay to eat a Twinkie and a Moon Pie for lunch today. You know what they say about excuses, right? They are just like anal orifices. We all have one and it usually sticks. Who needs me to harp on you and make you feel bad? You can be abused just by going to work or heading home to the spouse after work.

*

Who here doesn’t yet realize that things go from acceptable to tragic instantly? New Orleans, Japan, Haiti, these places don’t sound familiar? We are about to be hit with a tsunami of business failures as we reach the end of in-the-pipeline inventory that Japan can no longer provide. Who is going to rebuild in a radioactive zone? If the resources to rebuild were even available. It still seems very likely that Libya oil will stay offline. One more oil failure to add to that global 2% decline and how expensive will gasoline become? If it is even available. Your supply line of EVERYTHING is subject to instant failure. And you still want to wait? For what? Prepping, especially the Super Deluxe Bison Frugal Prepping Plan is so easy a mortally wounded hemorrhaging retarded monkey could follow it to completion. I’m trying to make your pathetic existence easier. Not like your hero Obammy is doing any better. You see how many weeks you have to go between the store carrying even normal items, you see how high absolutely essential items such as coffee jump up overnight. The feed store still is usually sold out of wheat. You see how few boxes of ammo there are. Hell, even E-Bay is having a much lower inventory of junk land, last time I looked. I did warn you about that awhile ago. You sit on thirty grand a year gross income, dithering and dathering over $2,000 real estate insurance, and someone less prone to wearing wool over their eyes buys it up. It isn’t like the supply is going to go up. Crap land is better than no land.

*

It is already all going to crap, unraveling before our eyes. The only problem is that no one knows the velocity of the collapse. I’m begging you, spend a few hundred bucks per person now, while you can. Was this a waste of your time? I doubt it. I know you are amused by my groveling. So, while I’m down on my knees, BUY MY CRAP! Buy The Frugal Survivalist on paper or Kindle. I don’t need the money, but you sure need the advice.

END
The Official Bison Web Site http://www.bisonpress.com/
*
My e-mail is jimd303@netzero.com
*
Anyone can submit a guest article. No minimum word length, no writing skill necessary ( just get the idea across ). You retain copyright ( this must be your original writing ) and I’ll just use the once. I’ve yet to turn down an article, just don’t use the N Bomb or libel another that can sue me. Send by e-mail ( please, label as “guest article” so I can find it easily later ). Payment will be your removal from my enemies list.
*
By the by, all my writing is copyrighted. For the obtuse out there.
*
Please support Bison by buying through the Amazon links in each article. You can purchase anything, not just the linked item. Enter Amazon through my item link and then go to whatever other item you desire. As long as you don’t leave Amazon until after the order is placed, I get credit for your purchase. Thank you.