bike cargo

BIKE CARGO


Okay, first off, I had most of this article written in my head this morning on the way to work ( it doesn’t happen often but when it does I’m mighty grateful I don’t need to spend the whole morning squatting and straining trying to come up with just an idea, let alone the whole article ). And then I look in my e-mail and here’s a guest article on bikes. So it looks like I’m just copying someone. Again. I do that a lot, the only difference is that my presentation is far more dazzling. And, you’ve all been so busy fawning over Nova and ignoring my articles that I can’t steal any ideas from the comments section. Plus, my daily numbers jumped up. And I know it’s so you bastards can just read Nova. Granted, I have no pride and will piggyback on Nova’s success but it is still a little bit embarrassing. Anyway, let’s get this jalopy on the road, shall we?

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Most days I dissect the meaning of life, the universe and pretty damn near everything. I know this causes resentment, as if I was an all-powerful and far seeing alien that landed amidst a grunting swarm of Neanderthals. Their biggest contribution to the conversation were the fleas that tried to jump over to me, whilst I was trying to teach them quantum physics. So every once in awhile I throw you all a bone and talk about something not quite so classy, and something you can actually use. I know you are all say, hey, my pimpin SUV ride, yo, is da bomb and I’ll never ride a crappy little bike with a basket on it looking all Pee Wee Herman and such. I’m far too cool. I’d rather show the world how cool by texting while speeding along, with no regard for those suck ass bicyclists. Yeh, you’re so friggin cool that you get all the jiggy bitches. But just wait until you’re not bringing in the ka-ching and can’t buy no bling, yo! Christ, I have to stop typing in ghetto, I’m giving myself a friggin headache here. As our Extra Slow Collapse expert the Arch Druid Dude just covered, the fracking process used to squeeze the last natural gas out of old wells is great, until you loose up to 80% after a year. It is a quick one-off event. It doesn’t provide long term energy salvation. And apparently the oil field fracking such as being used in North Dakota and whereabouts has the same quick to climax problem( that’s what she said ). Quick to deplete frack fields, four more years to zero oil imports, the middle east poised to implode, super storms becoming the new normal, Japanese non-imports of chips and auto parts about to go critical, tell me how you plan on NOT going all bike all the time very friggin shortly. I’m test driving this bitch for you, so pay attention.

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As I’ve already shared with you in irritating detail, I decided to forego the bike trailer so as to avoid another set of bike tires I had to worry about. I know you all mean the best, telling me to get a life and fix my own damn bike, but in the winter it is almost impossible due to the cold. Plus, the intangibles of throwing the extra cash to the bike shop is that he looks at upcoming problems I can’t see and advises me. And squeezes me in on emergencies not related to inner tubes. I did all my bike work in Florida, but it was a single speed pedal brake which I replaced once a year ( as opposed to the seven speed cable brake I have now ). I didn’t advance too far in expertise, but I’m not totally ignorant either. Anyway, needing a trailer assumes you are going to be hauling a heck of a lot of weight. I was overestimating the needed haul weight myself, and thought I simply must have a trailer. But upon weighing the full propane tank one day ( while I still had the truck ) I revised the max weight down from one hundred to about fifty. For that, a back and front basket are all you need.

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The back rack is inexpensive. The front is a bit harder. Almost no one carries front racks. If you go with a hanging basket, as I did, you can’t carry much more than 20 pounds there. The back will be 50 pounds max. However you do it, get both front and back cargo holders. I experience fierce wobbling if I only load the back. Since most of your body weight is distributed to the back, adding more throws off the balance the bike design intended for when it was just you on the thing, without extra weight. I load two gallons of water in the front, and that seems to stabilize the bike regardless if the back holds zero, ten or fifty pounds. My first real test of cargo use was when I brought home a marine 12v battery. It weighed 38 pounds. I placed that in the back along with a gallon of water. Two gallons in front. It was smooth riding and I even got up the bad hill ( the last portion is always first gear and standing up peddling ) without dismounting. As has been commented, you can’t do that with a trailer. Of course, another comment stipulated that you can bend a wheel rim with that extra weight. That of course is possible, and something to keep in mind, although I think a trailer could damage the bike just as easy ( if not the same way, then another ). Before I installed a back rack my rims didn’t even last a year anyway, due to the rutted road.

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A word on the basket I mounted on the back rack. A milk crate is great, as it perfectly holds a five gallon propane tank. I had first used pipe clamps to hold it on, but since the bottom plastic ( I couldn’t find an old metal one ) strips were lattice patterned, there was too much give. I found another crate whose bottom plastic strips ran straight horizontal and vertical. I didn’t have a wooden dowel at the time so I took a solid tubular plastic hanger and cut four inch lengths off the bottom rod. A wood saw works great. I placed each length under the clamp so there was a solid reinforced backing to each one. I can pick up the bike by the back crate and shake it and the crate and rack stay rock solid. Kind of important when hauling a filled propane tank you don’t want to explode. Of course, all this makes for a very top heavy bike. To park it I must lean it against a wall and prop the tires or it crashes down. If there is no support I have to unload all the cargo before I use the kickstand. But really, how bad is that compared to $4 a gallon gas, mandatory auto insurance, car payments or repair bills and, in all reality, the damn car owning you. Let your bike be your pimpin ride, yo!

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My e-mail is jimd303@netzero.com
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