cashing a euro

CASHING A EURO


Today’s article is a bit of a cheat. I’m taking a normal 200 word at most idea and making it the main article. Then I’m adding in personal problems and a few book reviews. In other words, filler rather than my usual “big idea to impress you into sending me money or making you want to have my baby”. Don’t be coy, I know all you females secretly lust after me. Alas, it can never work because my hair will always look better than yours. Sure, I’m still looking for Lucky Wife #5, but let’s be realistic about our chances. I can just see it now, your tangled greasy hair falling into your eyes as you plunge a knife down into my chest repeatedly, screaming some crazy crap about how I’m NOT as pretty as you. Spare me your hang-up’s, okay? All right, Friday is my laundry day now because I’m not exactly crazy about peddling into town a sixth day each week, and by doing one thing each day after work I distribute the loads I haul on my bike ( and remember, Future Blessed Wife #5 must be willing to bike into town-don’t be a pussy, it’s only four miles to the city limits and it only gets below zero a few times each winter ). As I simply hate to sit around with my thumb up my ass waiting for the cloths to wash or dry, I try to do something else while they are in the machines. Usually, I go to the book store ( this week I picked up “Islands In The Sea Of Time”. It’s almost scary the number of post-apocalypse books in the sci-fi section these last few months ).

*

I still had time after that so I went to my bank, Bank Of America. I’d just placed an Amazon book order so I needed to deposit $25. A Super Deluxe Minion First Class With Oak Clusters AND A “Get Out Of Bisonia Jail” Card If Ever Needed had sent me a 20 Euro note. About the ugliest currency EVER, but worth about $26 when exchanged. The two prior he has sent, I was able to cash after work, around 4:30 or 5PM. This time, the clerk tells me that the procedure has changed and you must cash them in prior to 2:30 PM. Now, this is rather inconvenient since it means I have to come back during my lunch hour at work ( don’t get me wrong-free money is worth the hassle ) Which is why I’m writing two articles today, Sunday, rather than one, and why you just get this hunk of crap cobbled together sorry excuse for an article. It’s the second article. Now, you might think nothing of this new development. They might be getting greedy and want to make sure that they themselves can sell the Euro while the market is still open and they lose nothing on the exchange. If the market was already closed, and they gave me 1.5$ on the Euro, and in the morning the Euro slipped to 1.49$, they would be out that one cent. Multiplied by however many idiots cashed in their Euro’s that day. It could be serious money, and let’s face facts. Since BofA is one of the top holders of junk real estate mortgages, they need all the cents they can squeeze.

*

You’d like me to buy that explanation, wouldn’t you? Well, I don’t. I think the sneaky little bastards know something we don’t. Like, the Euro is about to crash horribly and they want the option of saying, sorry loyal fifteen year long customer, we don’t want to take your stinking rotten worthless Euro. That’s what I think, and you can’t change my mind. How do you like them apples? My thinking goes like this. How many blog writers have loyal minions in Europe that send them a spare Euro note? How many guest workers in Europe send wages back to the US? Exactly. Not too damn many. Does the bank really have that many paper currency transactions from individuals each day? I can see if a commercial transaction took place and it was serious money. Fine, then the time restriction goes into place. But a single paper bill? I think some manager puke is covering their ass. Better to piss off customers than have a reprimand on their file accusing them of losing the bank .00001% of profits that day. I’m just saying, another indication of the Euro’s demise ( outside of that thorny issue of no oil imports because of Libya )?

*

I had to do this ( writing an extra article on the weekend ) last week. Last Monday, I walked into work ( despite my sexy oak like leg muscles from biking, it still kills my feet ) so I could pick up my brand name used bike. This is my back-up bike. The bike shop guy came through and saved me a real nice one. A tad expensive ( $200, plus upgrading the tires/tubes to survive the local Goat’s Heads which will go through a regular bike tire like acid through flesh, for an additional $70, plus tip ) but now I own the road, bitches. I’m waiting a bit to recover financially below I install a rack or basket so for now I can only carry a jug or two of water in my backpack. I’m riding the cargo carrier into town three days a week and alternating with the back-up the other two. I don’t want to keep the second bike in storage and have the tires flatten/rot. Well, peace of mind transportation wise.

*

Twenty-six feet to go on the earth tube trench! Two weeks ago I started doubling up on the digging. It will be finished by July 4th ( the original plan was April Fools to Independence Day for the digging ), God willing and Budda be praised, if all goes well. Lord am I tired of the digging. What a complete and utter pain in my ass. Which is why I got motivated to speed the process up once I got past the half way mark. Besides which, I really need to test it out during the hottest month of the year. Wish me luck!

*

How To Bury Your Goods by Eddie The Wire ( he originally wrote lock picking books ), wasn’t a bad investment at all. Sure, it’s dated. Talking about a spread sheet for caches he advises contacting a Commodore user! And, mention is made of other Loompanics books. Loompanics is out of business with some of their titles bought up by Paladin. The new copyright is 1999, but I can’t see any of the text being new and improved. No matter. Mostly, this is a “how to be sneaky burying” rather than a “do A, B, and C to keep your good dry”. He really covers the ins and outs of foiling metal detectors ( and other government high tech detectors ). If you are unfamiliar with most of this, a good instruction manual. The other book I read Saturday was “The Dynamics Of Apocalypse”. Talk about a dry and dusty scholastic text. I swear, at least 25% was all mathematics ( if the coefficient of squiggly line over an N is weird backwards looking capital E, then the squared inverse ratio of postulated BLAH BLAH BLAH ). I’m talking lines after lines, like you would see on the background blackboard on an episode of “Numbers”. Another 25% or more was refuting the theories of other Mayan scholars. I slogged through two hundred friggin pages of that crap, mainly because I love my minions and like to share ( smell my finger! ). In effect, he blames the government structure for being unable to stop total collapse. I didn’t buy it. Yes, he does refute over population and resource depletion by pointing out that the areas which were most fertile crashed first. But he then points out the CAUSE is unimportant. Huh? The cause of the collapse is the whole hinge to the puzzle. I can think of a reason the fertile areas crashed first- the stronger cities forced the food to be imported. When that ceased, the dominos started falling as populations left one city to overwhelm another. Bingo, total swift collapse with die-off. Hey, I could have written that book, and just made up a bunch of math. While showing great promise at first, not a recommended book.

END
The Official Bison Web Site http://www.bisonpress.com/

*
My e-mail is jimd303@netzero.com
*
Anyone can submit a guest article. No minimum word length, no writing skill necessary ( just get the idea across ). You retain copyright ( this must be your original writing ) and I’ll just use the once. I’ve yet to turn down an article, just don’t use the N Bomb or libel another that can sue me. Send by e-mail ( please, label as “guest article” so I can find it easily later ). Payment will be your removal from my enemies list.
*
By the by, all my writing is copyrighted. For the obtuse out there.
*
Please support Bison by buying through the Amazon links in each article. You can purchase anything, not just the linked item. Enter Amazon through my item link and then go to whatever other item you desire. As long as you don’t leave Amazon until after the order is placed, I get credit for your purchase. Thank you.