trust your colon

TRUST YOUR COLON


I don’t see it very often, and I only thought to write about it today since I scribbled myself a note after I saw it last night, but that commercial by chrome about homos killing themselves was, well, for lack of a better word, Friggin Gay. Now, please don’t get me wrong. The anarchist in me says, what goes on in the bedroom between two consenting adults stays in the bedroom. The amateur anthropologist in me says, there has got to be a good reason that historically the norm has been intolerance for homosexuality. Perhaps there was no tolerance for taking breeders out of the gene pool, I don’t know. Laws against homoness are of course a slippery slope, but at one time they merely gave teeth to social mores. At this point in time there is nothing wrong with pillow biting carpet lickers, what with over-population and all, but the legitimizing of the practice is to me troublesome. It is one thing to leave bad behavior alone if it is hidden, quite another to make bad behavior “normal”. And before any of you anti-hetro’s get all bent out of shape ( pun intended ), it isn’t just you. I don’t think premarital sex should have been legitimized, either. Even if a cultural bias hurts an individual, if it helps social stability it is usual best to adhere to it. There was, for instance, a very good reason to outlaw female promiscuity. Exclusive access to sex by the husband assured that the pair would stay stable. Thus assuring the children would be raised properly. The same reason why, by law, a husband had at one time legitimate grounds of complaint if the wife denied him sex. This wasn’t just guys being pigs and treating their mates as breeding cattle. It forced domestic tranquility ( if you talk to third world females, they have usually been raised culturally to see it as their duty to grant free sexual access to the husband ). And before you get all stupid and feminazi on me, it is also the husbands duty to die to protect the family, so don’t act all butt hurt ( pun intended ) you have to put out once in awhile.

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Now that I’ve riled up all the “modern” women, let’s move on to homo’s. At this time not much is coming to me on why to outlaw the practice, by way of social benefit, outside the already stated “maximize breeding stock”. But whatever the reason, it is usually frowned on culturally ( please don’t drag out all the exception, if those exceptions prove the GENERAL rule ). So, having already destroyed the nuclear family with Social Security, and the two parent household with rewarding divorce, now the powers that be see fit to eliminate heterosexual relationships altogether. The aforementioned Chrome commercial is in effect saying, it’s a-OK with us to tool around another guys colon or for you ladies to pound plastic. If you are a teenage homo, don’t let the bullying and social pressure get to you. Be strong, don’t suicide, it WILL get better. Hmmm. So, the commercial is saying that you should never give in to the accepted standards. That cultural stability is a bad thing. Please, I make fun of everybody, including gays. I’m not anti-gay however, as much as I’m anti-social stability. I know your GayDar is pinging mightily and you aren’t listening to what I just said and you’ll get all butt hurt ( pun intended ) and start hating me. I don’t friggin care if you kill each other with AIDS, okay. Chill out dude. I’m saying that this commercial sucks ( pun intended ) because it promotes social and culture instability.

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Setting aside the good thing that suicide is ( cleanse the gene pool ), pressure from your peers is also good. In a lot of things, we MUST act as part of a herd, to survive. If all the potential breeders are busy getting their upper lip peach fuzz rubbed off from friction, the group suffers. And really, I could give a crap about homos feeling all bad about being given a hard time during their teen-age years. Everybody is busy getting a hard time then. You think butt humping jokes are bad? I had a visible spine/back brace AND braces on my teeth while my face was a festering mass of acne. Cry me a friggin river, butt pirates. It’s called growing a callus on your sensitivity. Cowgirl up, for goodness sakes. If I hadn’t looked like a generic experiment gone horribly wrong then, I wouldn’t have started hating people so violently ( I was already a loner prior to that ), I’d have stayed all fuzzy and cozy, and you wouldn’t be reading my greatness now. It was a win/win. Perhaps getting hazed for antisocial behavior is good. But, being gay, they think they are special and should be treated extra special. Okay, fine, give them a tax break for not bringing more kids into the world, then tell them to shut the hell up. And, free butt plugs!

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Okay, I need to tie that in with survivalism. Besides the danger of no social cohesion and destroying the family unit. I’d say, if this represents reality to most people, you need to do the exact opposite of everyone else to survive. Okay, a stretch ( pun? ). Shut up!

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I just finished the book “The Walk”. Not a bad read at all. The interaction between the two characters was a brilliant piece of work. However, it was only 180 pages. So rather on the expensive side. And, is was only a disaster tale, not a post-apocalypse book. Proceed at your own risk.

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I don’t feel my day is complete, yet. I’ve bashed women and gays. Now, on to English as a second language speakers. One of our mom and pop restaurants has the following on their sign, “Coming Soon New Menu Good Service”. Get it? The service now is no good. It’s been up for weeks too. I guess they aren’t getting any white boys in there to tell them about the sign. That is some funny stuff. Oh, wait, let’s bash on cell phone users. Sorry I didn’t take a friggin picture of the sign, I’m not so friggin special that I feel I must be reached 24/7, so I don’t carry one. How much in preps could you buy each month if you didn’t have a cell phone for everyone in the family?

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