pipe update

PIPE UPDATE


Yes, I know. You are very disappointed I’m doing another “what I had for dinner last night” articles. Please, with all the most humble apologies and profuse embarrassment, excuse the holy living crap out of me. Most days, I do nothing but eat, drink and sleep Doomer Porn. This is for both our entertainment and for my sparse compensation ( per capita, my minions are quite generous-hint, buy Amazon crap- but there just won’t ever be enough of you because of turn-over such as when I bad mouth your favorite deity and you go running and screaming from the room, priceless nuggets of survival wisdom be damned ). But sometimes I get a bur under my saddle, a feather up my ass and a song in my heart and I vaguely remember what it is to have an actual life. Not the screaming nagging fish wife, the rabid butt hair dingle ball cur, two point five curtain climbing obese video game playing spawn and the over priced suburban gum and glue McMansion with white picket fence kind of normal, but the take-time-after-work-to-relax-and-enjoy-life kind of normal.

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Not that I ever really relax, waste money and enjoy myself in the traditional sense, although it’s been a year since I went to the movies and if I cash in my dime and new penny pile ( the recent articles by Rawles on saving pennies stated pre-83 pennies are mostly copper. I could have sworn they are pre-82. Anyone? ) I can go guilt free that I didn’t waste book, savings, or prep supply money on frivolous entertainment. I know a good looking movie is coming up the end of July ( Cowboys And Aliens ). Anyway, the last few days have been spent finishing up the earth pipe and that occupied pretty much every waking moment. Thursday I spent an hour and a half digging, and Friday, after getting back later from doing laundry after work, about an hour. Digging after work was starting to get damn hot and the friggin bugs are not only trying to fly up into every exposed orifice with moisture, some little bastards are starting to suck my blood. I was raring to get this damnable project finished. Saturday morning I get up at five, have a couple cups of coffee and then start gluing and laying the pipe. Which of course goes horribly wrong, which I should have known would happen but was too distracted by the digging part ( my estimate for the four foot deep one hundred foot long trench was about sixty hours of labor ) which just reinforces the fact that you can never be too paranoid.

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When I bought the pipe late last year, I had budgeted myself $200. It must have been a budgetary stretch, because I really went bare bones. I eliminated the intake vertical pipe ( evidently thinking I could leave a small shaft like an old fashion water well, which upon reflection was retarded because I’d need something to shore up one wall where the trench had been ). I also miscounted the number of pipe couplings, which was also pretty stupid since it is simple math, one coupling between each two pipes. Then, if that wasn’t boneheaded enough, the day my truck was dying and I decided to retire it months back, I was racing around dropping the bike off for a rack install ( the “universal” mount needed a special bolt it didn’t come with to fit my bike ), and figured, last chance, go to Home Despot and get the two extra pipes you needed ( did I mention I forgot to buy the extra needed length for the pipe going into the trailer? ), dumbass. And, I bought the wrong type of pipe! Instead of sewer type it was Valencia ( or something like that ). Same 4 inch, but the two take different attachments ( and they only sell sewer types ). I only made it work by substituting one length of the 100 feet with the thinner pipe, which I pray won’t bite me in the ass later. Alas, I still needed to get the coupling.

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So, I peddle into town about seven AM. It is only 65 out, and when I got home it was still just 70 ( the insane temps come later ). The bike ride wasn’t bad, and I did stop by Bugger King for a couple of sausage sandwiches ( which, bless their fat soaked hides, fueled me through the whole day ). The next six hours was the fun part, taping insulation over the pipe into the trailer ( with that insanely priced $12 a roll snow and ice duct tape ) and filling in the trench half way up the entire distance. Bugs feasting on my flesh as it was burned by the 96 degrees. Hottest day of the year so far and my monkey ass is playing Bob The Builder. So far, I can’t tell how good or bad the thing is working. The air isn’t blown through the pipe, it sllloooowly oozes out at a sloth’s pace. I can feel the colder air, I just can’t tell how much of a difference it will make. Sunday morning, today, I finished filling in the rest of the trench to within three to six inches of the top ( any more dirt will have to come from scrapping off from around the sage brush ) and right after I started writing this.

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So, the first few hours with one to two feet of dirt over the pipe wasn’t much of a trial run ( I THINK it successfully kept the temp three degrees colder inside but I simply can’t judge yet- remember, the dirt didn’t get over the pipe until about noon ) and the pipe was just covered completely as I’m writing this. I reserve the right to gloat if this works great, and to pout if it doesn’t. 80 hours of labor and $260 later.

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I had wanted to base this article on a review of “Strategic Relocation” by Skousen. At $35 PLUS MOTHER HUMPIN SHIPPING THE TIGHT ASS PRICKS, this is a pricey investment. Granted, your life is well worth at least $35, but frankly I couldn’t believe I got three Amazon sales when I first mentioned I was ordering it. I mean, thanks a bunch guys, but I’d have thunk you’d wait for a review because $40 ain’t nothing to sneeze at. But being outside in the heat fried my brain, despite my super duper handy boonie hat ( NOT in cammo, lord how I hate that ugly looking crap when OD green looks much less gay ) and I had no energy mentally or physically to read afterwards. I just moronically stared at one rerun sitcom after another on the glass tit afterwards. It was so damn hot I barely even ate, just my last can of squirty cheese ( dollar store, way to rape the environment by buying soon to be trashed metal containing hardly any product, Jim ) on saltines. Anyway, a quick perusal showed potential with caution. I’ll fully review it another day, but basically you can see where Rawles gets most of his location info from. The east sucks, go to a mountain top, nuke war is immanent, etc. Of course, even the sucky states get advice on the least worst places to be, so this is a resource for all. I didn’t like his bull pucky introduction, “take all the time in the world, don’t panic”, as if buying fire insurance is a good idea, but you can wait for awhile because the odds are good no fire will break out. What The Mother Humping, Dill Holing, Butt Sucking Crapping Hell Are These People Thinking!?!? Friggin idiots, I’m surrounding by frigging idiots. I must remind myself that Baby Jesus only tests the worthy.

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