scheduled panic

SCHEDULED PANIC


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As much as I hate the concept of ever so slowly accumulating crap to survive, as if six percent established oil production declines ( with a corresponding increase in new production at only about two percent, if that ) coupled with ever increasing population and the urbanization of farmland ( remember “Who will feed China?”? That book was written in the early 90’s, postulated that China would follow the path of the other Asian nations that industrialized and lose half of its farmland and need to import grain, and was pretty much spot on ) and extreme weather conditions ( Dust Bowls used to be regular events and are here again, but with a few more billon folks on the same planet ), all together don’t scream out at you, look you stupid ass jag off brain dead hump, the whole enchilada could fall apart any time now, still and all at some point you have to put off vital preparations.

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Every swinging dingus here is pretty much either poor or has a ball and chain sucking up all their money ( I’d wager 99% of the readers of Yuppie Survival sites are the same, but since they still buy into the “frac the Rockies or raise pond scum to magically replace the petroleum” fantasy, they think the collapse will wait long enough for the economy to recover [ what do you mean, we need an energy surplus to grow the economy? ], their college education to create a new job for them and their spouse to be transformed from a shoe shopping mall whore to a onboard prepper after watching a zombie movie, so they think being poor now isn’t any reason to get started ), you can’t do everything at once. As cheap as the preps I advocate are, you still can’t do it all immediately. So, today we present a scheduled panic list. Putting aside the extra money is up to you. I won’t ridicule you too badly, even if you make five times my wages and haven’t moved past a case of MRE’s, and I can support a wife, an ex-wife and my preps on minimum wage ( the writing wages are great, love you all very much for them, keep them up, but most months after buying books I only end up with about $100 extra. That isn’t prep money as much as “projects” money. I can prep just from my work paycheck. Also, I did the bulk of my preps prior to this blog paying me, so you have no excuse why you can’t do the same. I was prepping when my trailer rent took half my take home pay ).

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As I’ve bleated out in fear and panic and pure concern for my minions before, you must get your basics yesterday. Four hundred pounds of wheat, in buckets, with a grain grinder, is under two hundred bucks. A Russian Mosin-Nagant bolt action rifle. With four hundred rounds of ammo, is about two hundred bucks. A water filter replacement unit is $50. A set of thermal underwear, a wool blanket and a tarp is $50. You can prep for $500. Hell, the rifle even comes with bayonet so you don’t need a knife. You can throw in a few dollar store LED lights and some disposable batteries as a bonus. And then, every person extra in the family only costs about $200 additional. This is easy peasy. No need to buy an arsenal of $1500 plastic carbines. No need to buy a family unit of freeze dried food at $3k per year. No need to have a four wheel drive bug out vehicle to take you to a $250k retreat in a region populated by religious fanatics ( yes, Mormon dudes, I’m also including you. Hey, I admire you standing up to the feds way back before you caved and sucked up to become a state instead of fighting for independence, but come crunch time I’m sure you’ll start burning heretics such as myself ). This is your bare bones, better than nothing, easily affordable survival plan.

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Of course it isn’t optimal. You would like a lot more. Sidearm, more ammo, beans to add protein. Blah, blah. I’d like a bunker on top of a remote mountain, an arsenal of HK’s, chests of gold bullion and a harem of buxomly wenches. I won’t get that, because life sucks, thieves steal your wealth, and then you die. Welcome to reality. What you can have is the bare minimum of everything. I’d like a fifty acre farm in lush rolling well watered hills. Instead, I get scrub brush and a stockpile of grain. I just looked last week, and there is still damn good bargains in junk land. A lot in Elko county, out in the middle of no-where, was $1200. A lot in Arizona was selling for $50 a month payments. Anyone can still afford junk land. The trick to making this schedule is, “what can’t be improvised?”. You must buy what you can’t have any other way. If you live in the desert, you must stockpile a lot of grain ( because you can’t farm ). You can’t improvise guns and ammo ( you will be way over classed coming to a gun fight with a spear ). So, after your basic wheat and rifle, I would advise buying land. I don’t think squatting on public land is a great idea.

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I think for the one or three grand a piece of land costs you, that is darn cheap homeless insurance. You don’t have to worry about the price of gas in the future, or getting harassed by cops needing increased budgets, or a fedgov agency changing the rules on gold prospecting or temporarily occupying their vacant land. You are betting on the collapse not happening overnight by buying land. I think a sudden collapse is in the single digits of possibility. Enough that you need that $500 of basics, but not high enough to ignore homeless insurance. In other words, spend the money to be prepared for anything, but don’t put all your bets on low probability events occurring. You can improvise a shelter, but you can’t improvise a legal squat. Your land should be next. After that, I’d seek a non-petroleum shelter. One you can survive in without around the clock heat or air conditioning. Because petroleum products are a seriously endangered species, it is stupid to live in shelter that needs them. This can be as simple as a root cellar. Not something you want now, but able to work if that pesky collapse doesn’t adhere to your schedule. Hell, you can buy an Army surplus artic tent now for under a grand.

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Now all your basics are covered. Food, water, protection. A home not able to be touched by the bankers. And a shelter that keeps you alive if the grid fails. If you were careful, all that cost under three grand. Less than half what an ATV cost you. Or two FN-FAL’s without mags and ammo. After that, you can relax. All preps henceforth are just gravy, icing on the cake. Just remember, you are investing with paper currency to buy Petroleum Age affordable assets for a time when there are no dollars and no petroleum. You are essentially spending nearly free money to keep you alive. Three grand is barely above two months minimum wage. You won’t get this opportunity again. Just prioritize, starting with that which will never be available again. Taxpayer and petroleum subsidized grain, foreign government taxpayer subsidized military surplus, metal ore processed back when petroleum was cheap and ore was plentiful ( the aluminum in the trailer ), land made accessible through cheap petroleum roadway engineering. Baby Jesus is giving you a gift, don’t look that horse in the mouth.

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I just read “Another place to die” by Sam North. In my opinion, one of the overlooked and underrated pandemic books. It was written five years ago, so used copies are cheap even after shipping. It wasn’t really as much a message book ( other than, the best laid plans still go awry and love will replace our material world ), as just a damn fine piece of writing, with a super flu as a background. Seriously, just a book to enjoy for the craftsmanship of its author. Don’t read it for pointers during a collapse. You might get something from it, but mostly just an excellent author writing on a subject of interest.

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My e-mail is jimd303@netzero.com
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