it's for the environment

IT’S FOR THE ENVIRONMENT


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Why write fiction? The stuff that really happens is so astonishingly bizarre that you couldn’t make this stuff up. Some place in Utah has just passed an ordinance that you will be fined for excessive automobile idling. They graciously exempt those in below freezing weather or in heat over 90. After all, if they allowed their old bastards to freeze to death, who would they fine next month? So, whenever someone needs an example of how micromanaging and overregulation lead to mass stupidity, point them to the New York City ban on “evil” fat and Utah’s ban on allowing your car to remain running. Hey, don’t you worry your pretty little head about it ( they also protect your head by forcing motorcycle helmets to be worn and banning driving and texting so you don’t get into an accident ), we are only trying to protect the environment! They actually had the giant swinging iron balls to say that! Helping to save the planet. Sure, I’ll bet. Helping to balance your town budget with “spitting on the sidewalk and cussing on Sunday” laws. Here is proof positive that voting doesn’t change a thing, because surely no friggin voter is so stupid that they would allow this kind of crap. They have simply got to believe this puts them in danger. Example, They can’t talk on the cell while driving, so they pull over to report an injured man in an auto accident ( one can only conclude that the only reason an accident could have happened at all was because someone was eating illegal fat coated American Fries while talking on their cell phone, had an instant heart attack from the Evil Fat and was distracted from having their hands placed at the correct ten and two position and hit his head because he wasn’t wearing cranial safety gear, and Baby Jesus cut him down for taking the Lord’s name in vain as he panicked and lost control in the traffic jam ) and if they either forget to turn off the motor, or, worse, need to keep the juice flowing because the cell phone battery is dead, sure as God made little green apples just then an Environmentally Correct Enforcement Officer would whip up in his ethanol mobile and observe your capital offence. Or how about this. You are going to pull out of traffic from a store. You judge that the oncoming traffic is too fast and fail to pull out. Rather, you wait for the current wave of traffic to pass. Suddenly, an overhead helicopter illuminates you with their spotlight, a stern voice informs you to freeze as you are in Violation Of The Environment, Idling Too Long, police dogs are unleashed and you are apprehended and your bail set for twenty grand, as your picture appears in the Environmentally Approved Kindle Version Of The Newspaper, along with those soliciting prostitutes or molesting sheep.

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And you thought the Lawn Watering Police were the height of idiocy. It would be a lot easier to double the cost of water past X amount, discouraging the waves of hapless idiots that think the water table won’t fall as millions of homes keep lawns IN THE FRIGGIN DESERT IN A STATE EXPERIANCING LONG TERN DROUGHT. Notice how I capitalized that? Every tree molesting, Birkenstock wearing, Prius driving, female armpit hair weaving, college educated idiot out there that kills hundreds of thousands of trees to print a book telling us how evil we all are for causing global warming and we must all live at tropical Africa levels of poverty to save the environment, if they just looked at a friggin Google map of an southwestern city and saw how many homes had well watered lawns and trees on land where the closest surface water was five hundred miles away, then they would know how impossible it is going to be to get ANYONE to change their ways and Save The Environment. The only good these millions of mouth breathing banjo players are going to do for earth is when they die off in famine and fuel shortages and we bury them and give the dirt some needed nutrients. No one, to include Al “I invented the Internet” Gore, who was just in it for the money, nor any politician in some Podunk Utah berg, gives two craps about the environment. It is all about the money. When the CEO of a soap company tells you how he just loves the earth all to pieces, he slips Mother a sloppy wet tongue whenever he can, he gives money to starving kids in whatever country he gets raw materials from, so he is sending all his happy loyal customers in America a brand new reinvented box containing his soap that now uses one half the cardboard, and that cardboard is a whopping ten percent post consumer recycled paper, he is blowing environmentally safe smoke up your ass. He is doing it to save money.

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Corporations using petroleum inputs to turn barren dirt into fields of corn using genetically modified seeds and turning it into ethanol aren’t trying to use a zero carbon fuel or save the environment or keeping America fuel independent. They are making money. And I sure as crap don’t care if I’m saving the earth by riding a bicycle. I’m doing it to save money. Very soon we will all be “saving the environment” as oil runs out. Those still driving will pay a per mile carbon tax, which will just go into the counties tax slush fund and go to pay the interest on the loans to the bankers for unneeded crap. These people with Save The Environment are completely Business As Usual. They are pissing on your leg and calling it acid rain. Don’t listen to the hype, instead follow the money. I just wish we could really help out the environment and fertilize the ground with the rotting corpses of any idiot that tried to sell us this horse crap. And you, go back to watering your desert lawn, our politicians are busy saving the earth.

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