grid down reality bites

GRID DOWN REALITY BITES


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Survivalists, despite being smart and aware enough to prepare for disaster, seem to be pretty pigheaded about trying new things. I innocently suggest that if you are poor ( 99% of most everyone ) you should stockpile five years of wheat and live in a hovel on junk land. Then, you can either try your hand at herding or, if you are more conventional, marry rain catchment and container/greenhouse gardening and grow crops on that junk land. Yet, you all look at me like I was growing a strange deformity out of the side of my head which oddly looked like a second set of genitalia. You shed a tear, and sobbing you proclaim that only a conventional farm high in the mountains, a babbling brook and a wooded lot and pasture land is the only possible way to survive the end of civilization. You simply don’t care if that bitch costs a quarter of a million dollars. You must farm! Farm or die! I helpfully suggest that if you stay in one lush watered area that legions of asshattery shall descend upon the land and smite you. You smirk at my naivety and stroke your plastic carbine, assuring me that with tens of thousands of dollars worth of ammunition you shall surely emerge victorious in a battle with Lucifer’s Spawn. You have Semi Auto and with such tools of righteousness you shall bring victory to The Lord! Hallelujah, brother and can I get an amen?

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So, the conventional advice has always been “farm, freeze dried, semi’s”. You can’t imagine a reality beyond that. You won’t listen to my alternative. I mean, I wish you would give it a thought, perhaps mull it over. But I know better. I know a genius is rarely recognized in his own time. It is a good thing I’m so convinced about the correctness of my views that I don’t need any validation, since I’d hardly expect the little I receive to support an ego as large as mine. But now, thank goodness, there is another survivalist viewpoint out there. A alternate course of preparation that, while not dirt cheap, is affordable by all and offers genuine hope for you city bound retards. Rawles, and his many ancient role models out there always preached to the rich. Hey, I was pissed about Yuppie Survivalists long before I even heard about Rawles. They all assume you are rich ( the $150k ranch/farm is the first clue, the $20k arsenal the second ). This isn’t personal. I hate all their teachings, not just a single mans. I don’t disagree that it is the best advice. It is. But it isn’t the most practical advice. Far from practical. And, hey, I know mine isn’t much more practical. It is achievable by every swinging dingus out there, be he minimum wage earner, student, retiree or casual income crackhead. The impractical part is expecting any of your wives to crap in a bucket or carry water. Lord knows my wife has her share of problems, and probably more than most ( look who she is living with ), but at least she is practical and will suffer some hardships rather than being a pampered princess that will be worthless after the collapse. I have a good apocalypse wife. Good luck with yours that can’t survive five feet past the 110 wall outlet.

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Now, there is a third choice on survivalism. Not living in abject poverty, nor having to be as rich as Bill Gates to achieve it. Welcome to Bruce “Buckshot” Hemming’s trapping world. Now, I’ll admit that snares and trapping never really turned me on. We have about two animals here, coyotes and rabbits. Not great year round eating ( but certainly good fur ). But, Bruce ( and I feel comfortable calling him Bruce since I only care for other peoples feelings and calling him Mr. Hemming would make him feel old and pathetic and I wouldn’t want that to happen ) being the gentleman that he is seemed to take into account MY feelings and knew I liked to read so he gracefully sent me his book “Grid Down Reality Bites”. Damn! That is a great survival novel! If I had read it a few weeks earlier, it most likely would have been included in my Top Twenty Fiction List. If you enjoy reading, you like the alternate reality a good book transports you to. The best stories have a bonus. If you sit and read too long, you get so caught up in the story that putting the book down actually brings you a feeling of disorientation. That is how captivating the story was. This is one of those books.

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Now, I’m not saying this is the very best out there. The story is a bit rough. But that is okay, it merely underlines how intriguing the plot is if it can overcome that roughness. The story itself is tame. A couple of groups trying to survive. A road trip. A cabin fever story. The main thing this novel does is put you into a new possible future. Not a rich boy’s well stocked retreat. But a way of surviving in the woods by trapping. Stockpiling isn’t the whole point, but learning a valuable skill that will feed you. And, yes, there are about a thousand reminders that you should visit Buckshot at www.snare-trap-survive.com

But, hey, the guy put a few thousands of hours into writing this tome, he should be able to generate a bit of profit from it. Now, I’ll probably be one of those customers. This book got me interested. Not for food perhaps, but trapping for furs. Remember that Dallas guy that shot the game wardens back in the 80’s? Right here in Northern Nevada, so it is an intriguing possibility.

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This book was so great because it awoke and detailed the possibilities of trapping for survival ( more than any article I’ve ever read on the subject ), a third possibility of planning for collapse. Rawles way is unaffordable, my way is too primitive and austere. But the Buckshot way is perhaps agreeable to all members of the family. You might live in the cold ass northern woods, but there is plenty of wood for heat and game for meat. With a flush toilet you should be able to get the old lady to go along. Now, a lot of you won’t like the book because of its length. It is an 8 ½ by 11 with almost no paragraph breaks or white space. It is jam packed with text and I’d guess that it has about a third of a million words. The regular best seller paperback is 90k words and is $8. So, for $20 you get the equivalent of four regular size novels. The price is certainly right, but it will take you close to forever to read ( to my minion that dislikes Lucifer’s Hammer because of the slow pace at the beginning, beware of this book. Look, I know not everyone has my same tastes. Just because I love it doesn’t mean you all should. So I apologize if I come across that way sometimes. I’m trying at full disclosure here. This book is slow paced throughout. I thought it was a page turner, but you might not agree with my taste in slow meandering full detailed writing ).

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There are a few glaring fact checks. Like an EMP and the working solar panels, the fact that so many radios survived ( and I wondered about the validity of the rabid dog packs being so unrelenting and unconcerned with their own survival as they attacked guys shooting guns ). But, who cares? The story isn’t about what caused the fall, the story is about how to survive. You could go to an economically depressed northern wooded land right now and buy a secluded cabin for cheap. Then, with a few bucks in trapping instruction books and DVD’s and some snares and other supplies, and practice of course, you have an excellent chance on surviving. Also, the book might need an editors hand. I thought the mistakes were very few and far between, and they didn’t bother me at all. One section, about page 80, looped back around on itself and had a second alternate ending posted a half page later, but that was the only biggie. The rest are just occasional misspellings ( like when I use hoard for horde ). Just don’t use those errors to justify pissing and moaning about the books price tag. As I said, you are paying the equivalent of five bucks each for four novels ( and, there will be a sequel! ). A great bargain. And an invaluable illustration of another survival strategy. Recommended. The book, if you can afford it, but mostly I would recommend you go visit the buckshot website.

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