kill the wife

KILL THE WIFE


January fifth Rawles Survival Blog had an article on the potential evil of man. I applaud his efforts at edginess. It seemed to dwell on a subject most Yuppie’s would run screaming from. Thank goodness it was a difference from bug out spaceships, how to improve the performance of the AR by 10% by doubling the money spent on it, where you should buy your two million dollar mountain top concrete bunker with your own satellite for communicating with your tactically superior ninja hit squads or other such standards of duplicating the efforts of FEMA to keep our elected representatives in power and comfort after a nuclear war. Actually, come to think of it these kinds of articles might be just the thing the typical survivalist grooves on. Fulfilling his secret fantasy that he could replace his fat sexless shrill of a wife with a better model. After all, the bitch is probably going to divorce him and take the survival retreat as part of the property settlement before the actual apocalypse occurs and this scenario is just the thing to settle his blood pressure. When you are powerless, fantasies of revenge are sweet indeed ( trust me, I’ve gruesomely tortured my ex-wife in many and varied ways in my mind in times of hunger or cold and it settled me down slightly. Of course, it was problematic in that I don’t want to use regular techniques because of the blood and gore, but any torture of a sexual nature would probably just excite her. I can’t even catch a break in my Happy Place ). In the article, the end scenario had a few choices for when a young thing with kids shows up hungry. Take her in, send her on her way, kill her in kindness, boot the wife out of bed and use the new wife shamelessly or kill the current wife. These are all fine choices, and sure, a few are more evil than others, but I’d like to point out some problems with these choices and offer another one.
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Now, I’ve said before that I was once a clueless bastard when it came to women. I only learned the hard way. I used to be the testicleless idiot that would come to the bed every night, hat in hand, begging for the good stuff. I was a good little Modern Male, never imagining that the female wouldn’t be in control of our sex life. I had been properly indoctrinated in full on women’s lib ( the best indoctrination is when you never know its happening ). If you love masturbation, this is the kind of relationship you want ( in my view, sexual release is a lot like grades of protein. Masturbation is a can of pork and beans. Intercourse is sirloin steak. Anything in between can be hamburger or even sausage. Certain protein satisfies your craving much better than others. If you are satisfied eating beans instead of animals, fine. I’m a carnivore ). It is now my contention that in a relationship each gender has a role expected of them. A male must provide and protect, a female must satisfy her man if she wants to keep him. Everything else is gravy. If you only have love, you will eventually have a divorce. So I am heavily leaning towards killing off the wife. But that is just my thirst for revenge against all the promiscuous whores that slammed their legs shut after their wedding night. The logical thing to do is to eliminate the possibility of blowback.

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Paul, thank you for the generous donation.  It will go towards the 30 watt solar panel I'm buying today.
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Let’s say you are a middle age ugly bastard that prepared for the collapse. Your wife is suboptimal, but you keep her for whatever reason. If a young pretty thing shows up at your door with a hungry kid, you know what is going through your mind. I want a new wife that is compliant out of necessity. You can talk all the crap you want to look good for the modern women, but I’d wager most of us long for the good old days. Look, stop putting pins in your voodoo dolls, gals. You have certain expectations in a relationship and so should we. Anyway, putting aside right or morality, if you decide to trade up in wives, do it the smart way. If you take the new one in and cheat on your wife with her, the new wife will henceforth expect you to cheat on her. Right? You are showing your true colors. If you kill the old wife, then the new wife knows you might kill her someday once she becomes old and ugly and a new one comes along. No, the smart thing to do is lie like a rug right off the bat. A potential wife shows up. Give her a few supplies, not inviting her in. Hint around you are lonely and she should think about it and come back in a day or two if she want a permanent place at your table. Okay, she doesn’t know you are married. You then have 24 to 48 hours to kill off the old wife. The new one shows up, you are a long time suffering widower that lost his spouse long ago. You kept the ring on and her things in the house because of your undying love. Bing! Sympathy and you’ve played the romance card chicks dig.

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But let’s say she saw the wife. She knows. So, you have to get a bit more creative. When she shows up next, you have terrible news! Your wife got insanely jealous and started attacking you, thinking you were going to leave her. You might have to hit yourself on the head with a cast iron pan or cut yourself on the arm ( make it look serious enough she believes you ). You had to defend yourself! You unfortunately hit the bitch too hard and she is dead. You of course grieve, but things were never going great for years, the marriage was a sham, etc. Kind of the same lies stupid bitches buy from married guys wanting a mistress ( I’ll leave her, promise! ) ( note on terms like “loyal minions” and “bitches”- if you can’t laugh at jokes at your expense, you take life too seriously. I like to weed out those kinds of readers. Survivalism might be serious business but life itself should be enjoyed. Learn to laugh a little. It will lower your stress and that of others around you ). There is a reason we all wear polite lies to sanction our evil. It makes everyone feel good, and reduces their anxiety. As they say, white lies are social lubricant. Disguise your evil, idiot.

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