richly frugal

RICHLY FRUGAL


Well, today you certainly are a bunch of lucky bastards. I just went shopping, you get to hear all about it, and I’m disguising it as survival advice. And what? You complained about those Peak Oil articles and this is what you get. Are you happy? Is this what you really wanted? I’ll allow you to stew in the toxic cocktail of your own misery now and proceed. You have all pretty much guessed by now that I’m such a tight ass with my pennies that I’ve yet to have one fall out of my orifice, and that is with the ravages that middle age start playing on the bodies, oh, how to put this delicately?, digestive parts. As relaxed as my sphincter gets, it is so packed with copper coins that nothing is dislodged. Yes, I was unwillingly pulled to this sad state of affairs by the financial shenanigans of the ex-wife, but now that I’m here I can not only claim credit for the willpower it took, I can enjoy the end result. When you have pared down life’s basic necessities to a minimum, you have plenty of extra cash to play with at the end of each payday.

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I can’t take credit for feeding myself ( if the collapse never happens, I‘d like to ferro-cement a large ground covering for rain catchment for gardening and perhaps chickens ), or living rent free ( I have a few grand left on the lot but don’t worry overly much as the paid for lots are available if needed ). But for a working stiff I spend comparatively little of my income on groceries and rent. By reducing my needs to the cheapest basics ( like almost free electricity-amortized the panels are under a buck a month at current prices ) I have so much extra that at the end of the year I can go hog wild. Last year I got the generator and this year I got a newer bed, construction supplies for a warmer floor in the living room and a lot more wheat. And as you are all aware, seething in jealousy, I spend over a hundred a month on Amazon books. These books are not only tax deductible, they fill me with information I can pretend is knowledge that is my façade of wisdom. All because I refuse to allow a motor vehicle to own me, I eat whole wheat two meals a day ( although I do consume sweet, tasty, majestic nectar of the gods butter with my lunch bread ) and I live in a tin box on junk land. I’m not claiming to be a super stud back to the lander macho redneck he-man. I bitch with the best of them as I’m hauling water home in the cold of winter. My nipples grow hard, but with no pleasure at all, as I shower in 55 degrees fifteen feet from the heater. That is not the finest part of roughing it. No, I’m not hard core. I just enjoy the lack of stress from not living at a maxed out paycheck. Nothing is free, it is just if the cost is agreeable to you. For me to go out and buy an additional nine months worth of apocalypse food for the two of us, and not be bothered at all about the cost, to me the freezing showers and slow hard rides home makes it all worth it.
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Which brings me up to the part I must give Lucifer his due. Thanks to all my Amazon commission paying minions. Sure, writing is work, the research is work ( both are fun, but still a job ). My minions only pay if they are gaining perceived value. But I still appreciate the support. It keeps me from having to work a real second job. I’m also going to give a shout out to Eugene, a fellow Silver Stater, for the Christmas gift just received. Your donation paid for a good portion of that wheat I just got. Which is up about ten percent this year over last. Still a bargain at $28 per hundred pounds at the local feed store, though. The Home Despot buckets went up ten percent also. They were close to $10 to store a hundred pounds, now a solid $12.

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I noticed that wood prices are down 20%, but insulation prices are up 50%! But, hey, don’t you worry your pretty little heads over that! It certainly can’t mean energy prices are going up. Why, North Dakota is supposed to be our new savior, gushing forth cheap crude at such a pace that the Saudi’s are embarrassed ( please note inserted sarcasm here ). One thing you might want to look for if you go to the Big Orange store anytime soon is their marked down LED flashlights. Eighty friggin cents! I got a half dozen since they are plastic cases. Sometimes when it gets really cold here and the condensation starts forming I lose metal case flashlights to internal rust. You can never have enough flashlights if you don’t rely on grid power for lighting at the flick of the wrist.

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Living frugal has its price. It also has its pleasures. It isn’t for everyone of course. Although I can’t understand how those purporting to be survivalists can’t wean themselves from luxury. Which will be tomorrows article. Practicing for the apocalypse full time. Another oft covered topic here. Yet, somehow I know you’ll enjoy it. Oh, you can turn off the gas and breaker box for the weekend. Or even all of a week on vacation. Know what you’ll learn? How quick your petroleum based petroleum substitutes run out and how expensive it was. You need to learn long term luxury deprivation. But more tomorrow. If I give it all away now you will get bored and go hook up with a Yuppie Survival site. And then I won’t be able to buy more Amazon books. We don’t want that.

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My e-mail is jimd303@netzero.com
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